The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I've Been Pie-soned!

How could ye, ye gloriously rich and gooey confection? It was truly love I had for ye. Alas, forgiveness will be some time in coming.



On the slow road back from a nasty bout of self-inflicted food poisoning, and thought I'd poke my head in here. I couldn't bear to throw out a half of a buttermilk pie from Mark's Feed Store (one of the most heart-stoppingly delicious desserts known to mankind) that we'd picked up for Easter dinner and...well...I think it was a little past it's prime. Or that's the consensus anyway. I, alone, had a slice of the buttery delight on Saturday night...and I, alone, suffered the wracking abdominal pain causing me to double over and grit my teeth (about every ten minutes for about 10 hours) on Sunday. It was far too reminiscent of labor and by the time I finally succumbed to slumber, I was exhausted.

Upon waking Monday morning, I was barely able to move. Mostly weak, the pain had stopped, but not the other (more traditional) side effects of food poisoning.

Back at work today. Feeling a little better, but sad...oh so sad...that it was the buttermilk pie that did it to me. Luckily, the white chocolate banana cream from Rafferty's has offered to step up and fill in any available openings.



But probably not today.


Click here for more ORAL...report!

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Hey, Look Kids! She's Ranting Like a Lunatic Again!

Sorry. Either you missed it or you didn't. But it didn't go away when I did. Buckle up, Buttercups!

So why isn't this terrorism? Why aren't we fighting a war on THIS organized terrorism right here, right now?

We are clearly not discouraging these religious zealots (who obviously have so much in common with our enemies around the globe that it's staggering) from their attacks on our citizens. Do we really want the result to be no doctors to safely perform this legal procedure? Don’t we all see that’s where this is going?

Generations of women have grown up never having seen the reality of coat-hanger abortions. It's been so long, in fact, that this horror has achieved a nearly mythical status. Much easier to believe it's all a fabricated monster story...that frightened, hopeless women, with no options, no control over their own lives and bodies, took such measures. But it’s true. They really did live (and often die) through this. With far too staggering frequency. Or as some stories tell, the traveling unlicensed "doctor" who asked no questions...if the cash was right...would be available to perform the necessary procedure.

But when is the last time, short of fictional accounts, that you've heard of that happening? That you've heard of a young woman bleeding out from this type of procedure? or being so scarred that she could never have children? And while the emotional impact of this procedure is rarely inconsequential, consider the far more significant psychological damage that abortions caused when they were self-service.

It just doesn't happen anymore.

Now, I'm sure many of you are sitting there in disbelief that I'd actually even broach this HIGHLY sensitive subject, but I gotta vent and that's just the way it is. I do want to clarify that I'm not a pro-abortion chick. I'm a pro-CHOICE chick. There truly is a difference. But in order to have a choice, it has to be a reasonable choice. None of the choices in this situation are entirely risk free. I think everyone realizes that. You can run into a plethora of complications delivering a baby, too. But we, as a society, have worked to make that choice as safe as possible…and we continue to do so.

That's really not so much what I'm on about today anyway. It's about terrorism. In America. It's about how people who cannot use peaceful means to move their agendas take illegal, violent action and, not only murder U.S. citizens, but also terrorize other citizens from both performing and procuring safe, legal medical treatment.

How strongly must a doctor feel about this issue to put their very lives (and, tangentially, those of their families and coworkers) at risk, to undertake this professional option? When the doctors who currently perform abortions are all killed, and no one steps up to take their place, will the terrorists have won? Sure, abortion will still be legal...but where will you be able to actually get one? Will the ‘choice’ have been taken from us without the long, protracted legal discourse that takes every citizen's voice into consideration?

The religious right blathers about over-reaching government and how many freedoms they don't want to lose. Maddening that they can't, for an instant, see how they are BEGGING the government to over-reach, while demanding that more than 50% of the population give up control of their physical body to the same government they don’t believe is qualified to manage ANYTHING (including health care). How far over is THAT reaching and "Hey, there, that's my freedom you're snatching!" Okay, likely a bad (at least partially unintentional) pun, but the entire concept completely boggles my brain.

If my tax dollars (and I’ve been paying them a long damn time) are being applied to a War on Terror, I want some of them to fight the War on Terror right here in this country. I want someone to stop the jihad against U.S. citizens going on in my backyard. I want my government to stand up for my personal freedoms and the laws that we, as a nation, have enacted to ensure that this is a more perfect union. I want U.S. citizens to be safe from terrorists that are already here and well-established in this country.

And I want it now. Before my daughters and your daughters and one more American woman has to find out what happens when you no longer have legal ownership of your own body.


Click here for more ORAL...report!