The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Milestones and Mortality

I've been working on party preparations. Picked up some books (as a gift) today. (She's starting to read and I'm so very proud of her!) Stopped last night and picked up a pinata. It'll all fall together sometime before 2:00 on Saturday. It better.

My youngest is nearing another birthday, you see. That'll make six, so far. And, while she tests my mettle regularly, all six of them have been treasures to me. I always get a little sentimental this time of year. (And not just from the holidays.) Remembering the trials and tribulations of getting her here. Thinking about how close my own mortality was. How quickly it can all be taken away.


Six years ago, today, I was lying in a hospital bed. I was pretty sick. Hell, I was dying slowly...and picking up the pace. My blood pressure was at stroke level (despite numerous meds), my kidney function was failing, my liver function was failing, and then my platelet count started dropping...and dropping...and dropping.

Not to go on about it, but a pretty tough bout of pre-eclampsia almost got both of us. A little more than two weeks in the hospital for me (through Christmas and the millenium New Year)...two months in the hospital for her.

A full twelve weeks early, and we weren't sure what we would get. First, you just hope for life. And then, you begin to greedily add on "please no brain damage", "please let her breathe without a ventilator for the rest of her life", "please no comas". At a whopping 1 lb. 15 oz., she came out kicking and screaming. And through the drug-induced haze I could hear her and I knew, at that very moment, that we'd make it.

It was not, by any stretch, an easy road. She had a few serious setbacks and she was fighting the tough fight pretty much constantly. Within the first couple weeks, she developed a dexterity for unplugging herself from the tubes. She'd pull out iv's and feeding tubes daily. Sometimes multiple times daily. Driving the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) nurses crazy. But it was a good sign. Her nurse practioner said it proved she had 'tude. (And she did/does.) And that she was a fighter. (And she was/is.)

I think back to that time. How very scared I was for myself and my baby. How insane my world was between spending as much time as I could at the hospital and trying to keep my older two daughters' lives in some kind of semi-normal state and keep a house running and a marriage going...you know...just for kicks. I was pumping milk, so taking mood elevators wasn't an option...but I surely needed them. All the worry about what my/our life would be like in a year...or two...or five.

And here we are at six. She's completely healthy. And as for the icing on the (birthday) cake, she's bright and beautiful. She's funny and sweet. And as mean as a snake when she wants to be. And I adore her. And I'm grateful every day of her life that I have her...and that going through everything we went through for those excrutiating two months (and the months after she came home) has paid off so well for me.

As a side note, I'd like to say that this is NOT the way you want to go about the task of having a baby. But if you, or anyone in your world, does end up in this situation, it's simply amazing the things medical science can accomplish. So, don't lose hope. And, honestly, if I can help, even if it's only as a "someone who's been there" kind of thing, I've done it a few times and I am pleased to give hope to the hopeless.

Sorry, I get a little misty thinking about this stuff. Never wanna get that close again. Since it was on my mind, I figured this would be a good place to dump it. Now off to order a cake!

19 Comments:

Blogger Doc Nebula said...

Baby,

What a beautiful, touching, moving entry.

You've quickly... no, I would say, instantly... put me in your shade as a blogger, you know? And I couldn't be happier.

SuperAdorable Toddler greeted me this morning by jumping up and down and shrieking "Tomorrow's my birthday!" I don't think she realizes that it's sad for me, a little, as I will have to change her name to SuperAdorable Kid. A rite of passage.

I can't wait to see how she turns out. But... on the other hand... can't she just stay this way forever?

I love you!

1/05/2006 8:53 AM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Hey, Zillabird, I know who you are. Though we've never been formally introduced...it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Funny you would choose the word 'Feisty'. It's the exact one that came up when the nurses were describing my tot. And then everyone looked at me and said "wonder where she got THAT." Six years later and I still don't get it...;) Thanks for reminding me of that humorous moment.

Good luck with your girls. Twins. ::shiver:: That's one I'm happy to have dodged. I don't think I would have survived two at once!! I bow in deference to your greatness! The very best of luck with Bird (and Zilla). Btw, I've seen pics. They're beautiful girls!!

And Highlander, thanks, once again, for the ever generous and thoughtful praise. Of course, you are completely erroneous in your assertions that I have eclipsed you in a mere two blog entries! But I love you in spite of such egregious flaws...;)

I'm thinking the party has all the ear-markings of a blog entry that shows up on your side. Only it will reek of screaming kids hopped up on cake and ice cream. A dream come true for a life-long bachelor...;)

I, too, can't wait to see what becomes of Princess Puddin' Head. She's got the world by the tail. You pop the corn and I'll grab us a couple seats up front. But I wanna snuggle while we watch the show.

1/05/2006 10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even though I don't know you, I'm glad to hear that health concerns are turning around for the better. Keep up the good work. Let's all try to keep 2006 illness and injury free! I'm still trying to shake a weight-lifting injury I got around Thanksgiving.

1/05/2006 10:02 AM  
Blogger Laurie Boris said...

Welcome, SuperG. Good stuff...have a great party...and keep on writing! A very wise, well-published and super busy woman once told me to forget about everything else for for a set time every day...and stick a sign over your computer that reads "DO IT ANYWAY."

And, you know, read it once in a while....

1/05/2006 10:22 AM  
Blogger Mike Norton said...

A touching post, your debut week is proving stellar. We'll give you a few weeks to become jaded and be reduced to complaining about the tires on the car needing to be replaced, how you can't find a decent cup of coffee and that your hair not only has a mind of its own but is certifiably insane. Something like that.

I sometimes wonder if all of the non-problem births - the smooth ones that go off on schedule, without the extended or return stays at the hospital - happen only for other people? Each of our sons was born at least a month ahead of schedule, though 12 weeks... that's a staggering difference on a scale when so much is happening so quickly.

The mix for us was different, and neither of them was small, but there were problems. I did some journal writing about some of it at the time, but so far it's nothing I've gone back and rehashed for the world, and I'm not sure that's going to change.

Still, there I go making this about me again...

Keep at the blogging!

One small item, though: It appears you're opening the entries the day before and not changing the time & date info before sending them up. It's a minor, minor thing, but yesterday and today the result's been that I feel as if I've been ignoring each of the posts for a day when it's only been up a few since this morning!

1/05/2006 12:46 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Bradi -

You probably don't remember me, but I posted a few comments (some time back) on your Mysterious Glow board. In fact, I think I sent you a link about a haunted sanitorium (Waverly Hill) here in River City. Thanks for the well-wishes and while you will not likely find comic one on this site, I hope you find the time to wander back from time to time. Come one. Come all. See the crazy woman rant and rave.

Opus -

Thanks for stopping by. I haven't been to check your new one out yet, but it has been highly recommended. By more than one person, actually. So, I'm looking forward to reading some of your work. Not sure how the birthday party will go, but I'll have my Martha Stewart Mojo going full-tilt by about noon tomorrow. As for the writing...well...I'm having fun with it. I wish I was better at it. But, maybe that part will come before I've alienated everyone on the internet.

Mikey -

Thanks for the tip on formatting the date. I find I get an idea, and start a post and then it takes a while to get back to it...and, of course, then there's tweaking to be done (even though it doesn't show). But I'll try to do better. I hate thinking that I've made you feel bad. Though it seems to be motivating you to post...and that's okay...;)


I agree with you on babies REFUSING to go by the book. My first was a month early. The second came in three weeks late...FINALLY. But kiddo #3 broke the record for most off schedule in our house. She was lucky in so many ways, though. First, that they caught my problem when they did. Thanks to my no-nonsense OB-GYN for not fooling around and insisting that I go directly from a regular pre-natal visit to the hospital. Scary, but life-saving. The fact that the high-risk ob-gyn who took over my care was able to hold off the birth for two weeks, and get two courses of steroids on board, helped dramatically speed lung development (which is a significant risk at that age/size). There were many more times when she was lucky, but I will spare you all.

Thanks, too, for the kind words. I really do appreciate the effort. And I really am having fun doing this.

1/05/2006 2:42 PM  
Blogger Mike Norton said...

No worries! As I said, it was a minor element -- I just find myself feeling so... tardy when I come by, see a new post and it has the previous day's date on it.

If you click on the "Post and Comment Options" directly beneath the editing space, what pops up below the window will allow you to change the date and time to whatever you want. If you pick a date and time earlier than some of your other posts, it'll be retroactively inserted into your blog.

1/05/2006 3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hard to believe, when I think of the last time I saw her, putting on an impromptu dance recital in a shopping mall for me, that Super Adorable Toddler, was once in mortal peril, along with SGF. I am VERY glad it turned out the way it did, else Highlander, and indeed, many other people, would be much sadder pandas.

Excellent post, thanks for sharing. No really.

1/06/2006 12:11 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

Sending Happy Birthday wishes to SuperAdorableKid!

That was a very moving reminscence; I'm glad you shared it with us.

Thanks.

1/06/2006 4:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just got to read your posts--feels just like I'm talking to you. Amy's card is in the mail and we'll send e-cards as well. Welcome to the blog world!

marge and carl

1/06/2006 8:22 AM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

LOL - Further confirmation that I ramble like this ALL the time. At least those of you out in the ether can walk away from your computer. Pity those who get the live version!

Thanks for the welcome, Marge & Carl. I really appreciate you taking the time to stop by and check it out. I'll try to have some macaroons for you the next time you drop in...;)

1/06/2006 8:37 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

Isn't it great to watch your kids grow. Mine is 14, and I am grateful for every day I have her, after our rocky begining. Nothing like what you went through, but still unreal when you look at it from afar.

Have fun blogging!

1/06/2006 7:41 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Julia -

Thanks for stopping by. Yet another semi-familiar face. I appreciate the encouragement. And I really am having fun with it!

My older two girls are 16 and 15. So, I've actually survived teenagers and toddlers simultaneously. AUGH!!!! That's yet ANOTHER thing I don't recommend!

1/06/2006 7:45 PM  
Blogger Mike Norton said...

Hmmm... we all seem to have been busy around the same time, as my sons will be 14 and 16 this June and March, respectively.

1/06/2006 11:15 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

I just realized that I totally dissed Nate and Mark. Bad, bad, Tammy!!

Yeah, Nate, we are exceptionally lucky that nothing has lingered. Micro-preemies (as she was originally) are at high risk for all kinds of unsavory defects...heart defects, vision and hearing difficulties, learning disabilities, respiratory ailments and cerebral palsy being the highest amongst them. S.A.T. (if I may shortcut myself here) has some very mild asthma, but absolutely nothing on the rest of the list. And, as you note, can cha cha like Carmen...;)

Mark -

It's one of those things that stays with you always. It's definitely been a defining moment in my life. I remember being at the hospital one day, kangarooing her (which entails holding the baby skin to skin inside your shirt with only the head peeping out...it helps them regulate their breathing and heartbeat to do this with their mother)and she started turning blue. She'd quit breathing and the nurses had to quickly extract her from my shirt and perform cpr on her to revive her, not once, but twice within a matter of 3 minutes. You don't walk away from those memories unscathed. I knew I'd have to post something about it. It really is so much of who I am.

1/07/2006 7:45 AM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Oh, and I don't know what you mean, Mike. I don't get busy.

1/07/2006 7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's not what Highlander says...

1/07/2006 4:02 PM  
Blogger Tony Collett said...

Just wanted to drop a note of appreciation for the blog in general and this entry in particularly, and to wish the SuperAdorableKid (or whatever new title Highlander has bestowed to her upon this day, I looked in his blog and couldn't find it) a great day.

1/07/2006 4:21 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Nate -

I believe I have shown, irrefutably that Highlander is not to be trusted on these things.

Tony -

Thanks for the kind words. The party is wrapped and she seems to have enjoyed it and is now working her way through the loot.

1/07/2006 4:34 PM  

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