Call My Name, Call My Name
Twenty years ago, I took a man's name. Nearly three weeks ago, I did it again. I'd forgotten what a monumental pain in the ass it is to do that.
Or maybe, I've got more stuff to change now...than I did then...
The decision to change my name, when I married Highlander, was not a difficult one. I'd kept my ex's name after the split, because it was one more way to tie me to my girls. But, marrying Highlander and keeping my previous husband's name? It just seemed so unnecessarily cruel to him. The girls realize they are tied to my heart strings...not by a name, but by our bond.
It's only been a couple weeks with the new name, I realize. So far, I've changed my name on my employment paperwork, my cellphone messages, my voicemail messages at work, the main work voicemail directory, two bank accounts (including ordering new checks and bank cards), changed the health and dental insurance plans, notified the utility companies, my doctor and the pediatrician's, notified the child support division, all my correspondence templates at work, and set up a new personal email account (which apparently pleased my ex-husband to no end). I TRIED to go to Social Security the Friday before last and get that changed, but it was the last Friday of the month and it was a madhouse. I wasn't sticking around to see the how bad it got, either.
I still need to get a new driver's license (which I can't do until I change the Social Security Account), change a few credit cards, my car insurance, and who knows what else. Given that there are only about a dozen days of school left here, I'm not going to worry about changing those records. Come the first day of school next fall-mer (we start in August), there will be plenty of papers coming home that will afford me the opportunity to update those records.
It's simply amazing to me the volume of it all.
I know so many women who kept their own name (and avoided all this horseshit). I guess I'm just (more than a little) old-fashioned about some things. Or maybe I'm just not cool enough to pull it off.
So, when I couldn't talk Highlander into taking MY name (then we could have been Mr. and Mrs. ex-husband's name, wouldn't that have been a delight)...and we really did mull that option over...briefly...it was well worth all the effort I'm expending now.
All I have to say is that there DAMNED WELL better not be a next time
Or maybe, I've got more stuff to change now...than I did then...
The decision to change my name, when I married Highlander, was not a difficult one. I'd kept my ex's name after the split, because it was one more way to tie me to my girls. But, marrying Highlander and keeping my previous husband's name? It just seemed so unnecessarily cruel to him. The girls realize they are tied to my heart strings...not by a name, but by our bond.
It's only been a couple weeks with the new name, I realize. So far, I've changed my name on my employment paperwork, my cellphone messages, my voicemail messages at work, the main work voicemail directory, two bank accounts (including ordering new checks and bank cards), changed the health and dental insurance plans, notified the utility companies, my doctor and the pediatrician's, notified the child support division, all my correspondence templates at work, and set up a new personal email account (which apparently pleased my ex-husband to no end). I TRIED to go to Social Security the Friday before last and get that changed, but it was the last Friday of the month and it was a madhouse. I wasn't sticking around to see the how bad it got, either.
I still need to get a new driver's license (which I can't do until I change the Social Security Account), change a few credit cards, my car insurance, and who knows what else. Given that there are only about a dozen days of school left here, I'm not going to worry about changing those records. Come the first day of school next fall-mer (we start in August), there will be plenty of papers coming home that will afford me the opportunity to update those records.
It's simply amazing to me the volume of it all.
I know so many women who kept their own name (and avoided all this horseshit). I guess I'm just (more than a little) old-fashioned about some things. Or maybe I'm just not cool enough to pull it off.
So, when I couldn't talk Highlander into taking MY name (then we could have been Mr. and Mrs. ex-husband's name, wouldn't that have been a delight)...and we really did mull that option over...briefly...it was well worth all the effort I'm expending now.
All I have to say is that there DAMNED WELL better not be a next time
posted by SuperWife | 11:25 AM
2 Comments:
How appropriate that I am hearing "Won't You Let Me Change Your Name?" on Bluegrasscountry.org right now.
Grats agains!
I chose to keep my own name and not go through all that "bullshit" like you described but there are times when it's proven more of a pain in the ass for us to have separate names. Every once in a while I think about changing it, but back out for every original reason I had for keeping it.
-It's mine.
-I don't like his.
-End of story.
But I imagine there is something in the forever-solidarity of being a family unit.
It just didn't work for me.
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