Mama Bear and the Three Cubs
If you guys are up from your naps, let me tell you a story.
I need to vent. Just a smidge. And then I'll drift back into my evening routine, and you can all drift back into yours.
[Kid 1] just called me. She's working schedules with me for Friday and Saturday. Friday, I'm going to watch her concert rehearsal at school, because I can't attend the concert on Monday night ([Kid 2] has a conflict and they literally drew names to see which one I would go to), and I need to help her with hair and make-up on Saturday, for prom.
During the course of our conversation, I asked her how her counseling session went last night. And she kind of sighed and said, "okay." I asked her if something was wrong and she said that she felt crowded and angry at her dad's. Great.
I reminded her that she'd be home soon. And she proceeded to tell me about an incident on her school bus today that may have repercussions for the remainder of the school year. Did you take the information to her father? No. He is supposed to handle this stuff during his time (so that he has a real taste of parenting full-time and doesn't get all the fun and none of the work). Why? Because she has no confidence that he'll get it straightened out. Super.
Lastly, she let me know that while she and [Kid 2] were in their bedroom earlier this evening, with their door closed (a policy change has allowed them to be in their room with the door closed now...you have no idea how difficult it was to enact this) and their radio loud, they overheard their dad (at the other end of the house) screaming at their six year old sister. [Kid 3] was arguing with her dad about opening something and dad wouldn't let her get a word in. Typical. He has no use for the other side of the story. It's all about control. And his children have nothing of value to contribute. At least that's how he feels. He may say differently, but he doesn't LIVE differently. Anyway, [Kid 3], near tears finally says "You're being mean to me!" and the response she got was a booming "THIS ISN'T MEAN!" Apparently, some point shortly thereafter, their dad gave in to whatever it was that [Kid 3] wanted or distracted her sufficiently to end the commotion. No. No. He doesn't need Anger Management counselling. Not at all. Grrrr!
I need to vent. Just a smidge. And then I'll drift back into my evening routine, and you can all drift back into yours.
[Kid 1] just called me. She's working schedules with me for Friday and Saturday. Friday, I'm going to watch her concert rehearsal at school, because I can't attend the concert on Monday night ([Kid 2] has a conflict and they literally drew names to see which one I would go to), and I need to help her with hair and make-up on Saturday, for prom.
During the course of our conversation, I asked her how her counseling session went last night. And she kind of sighed and said, "okay." I asked her if something was wrong and she said that she felt crowded and angry at her dad's. Great.
I reminded her that she'd be home soon. And she proceeded to tell me about an incident on her school bus today that may have repercussions for the remainder of the school year. Did you take the information to her father? No. He is supposed to handle this stuff during his time (so that he has a real taste of parenting full-time and doesn't get all the fun and none of the work). Why? Because she has no confidence that he'll get it straightened out. Super.
Lastly, she let me know that while she and [Kid 2] were in their bedroom earlier this evening, with their door closed (a policy change has allowed them to be in their room with the door closed now...you have no idea how difficult it was to enact this) and their radio loud, they overheard their dad (at the other end of the house) screaming at their six year old sister. [Kid 3] was arguing with her dad about opening something and dad wouldn't let her get a word in. Typical. He has no use for the other side of the story. It's all about control. And his children have nothing of value to contribute. At least that's how he feels. He may say differently, but he doesn't LIVE differently. Anyway, [Kid 3], near tears finally says "You're being mean to me!" and the response she got was a booming "THIS ISN'T MEAN!" Apparently, some point shortly thereafter, their dad gave in to whatever it was that [Kid 3] wanted or distracted her sufficiently to end the commotion. No. No. He doesn't need Anger Management counselling. Not at all. Grrrr!
posted by SuperWife | 7:01 PM
2 Comments:
wow. poor kids having to deal with that. i don't get why people yell at kids. it makes no sense. i know it happens, but over wanting something, which they always want something, yelling just doesn't make sense.
it does make sense in the following cases: a) a meteor is about to fall on their heads and you yell, "get the he!! out of the way!"; b) your kid is in jail after throwing a party while you are out of town and a car ends up in the pool (based on a true story); c) you're the kids drill instructor in the army.
Thanks, Jeorg!
Still dealing with the fallout (and wishing it HAD been a meteor), but his response is that it never happened. My older girls maintain that it did. I have no reason not to believe them, as they don't have a history of lying to me. He does. And I've seen his rages enough in twenty years to believe them. It's not just the yelling, either. He can demean you in a normal tone of voice just as well. And does. Frequently.
Lastly, man, oh man, I hope you weren't the kid who was in jail over the hydro-car. That sounds like a story I never want to live through!
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