The Oral Report

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Monday, May 08, 2006

She's a Maneater

As River City sweeps up the last remnants of horse manure and spent dreams, I find myself gearing up for another week. My girls left Saturday to spend a week with their dad. As you'd imagine, that's always a difficult time for me. And hey, throw in a dose of PMS, and guess what famous blogger/heroclix afficionado/comic book geek you DON'T wanna be?


Poor boy.

I've spent the better part of three days trampling his manhood. Well, not like a high-heeled leather thigh boots trampling that manhood kind of thing...I meant it more philosophically. Here's a little list of all the things I made Highlander do this weekend:

* Give me backrubs. Lots and lots of backrubs.

* Take me to a movie about an involuntary castration (and then put out when we got home).

* Dye my hair. Gotta wash that grey right out of my hair...

* Do the grocery shopping.

* Make the bed.

* Walk the dog. (And we don't even HAVE a dog.)

* Do the dishes.

* Go on a picnic at the park and then a walk in the woods.

* Give me an unnatural and terribly greedy amount of snuggling.

* Fold a great lot of laundry. (Though, I think, technically, that was Friday night before the kids left.)

* Go to Wal-Mart for Mother's Day cards, silk flowers, a flower pot and a few other doodads, on Sunday night at 9PM, which is, apparently, the time that Wal-Mart sends all their cashiers on break and has two lanes open for 400 customers. Of course, that's their regular gig.

* Eat nothing but crappy diet food all weekend.

I'm working on a little Mother's Day project for Highlander's mum, and a craft project for my oldest daughter. Not sure how much I can get done tonight.

Perhaps, I shouldn't worry about it...and just add a few more things to Highlander's list. But first he needs to give me a pedicure and wash the car...;)

5 Comments:

Blogger Highlander said...

Yes, dear. Wash the SuperGirlfriend and give the car a pedicure. Okay. On the list.

5/08/2006 5:58 PM  
Anonymous L.C. said...

At this very moment, there are two PMS-ing females in my house. Is it any wonder my son is hiding in the basement and dh is outside moving the lawn very S-L-O-W-L-Y?

: )

5/08/2006 6:02 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

H -

Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy!

LC -

It's not completely uncommon for three of us to be PMS-ing simultaneously. Give us another 5-6 years and there will be four, four women PMS-ing...HA, HA, HA, HA!!!

5/09/2006 1:26 PM  
Blogger Spider Girl said...

How do you get him to give you all those backrubs?!

5/09/2006 5:15 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Spider girl -

Mostly he volunteers. But, if I threaten not to give him yeast rolls for a week, that works well, too.

5/09/2006 5:22 PM  

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