The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Hitting the Links

It's been a while. Anybody up for some links?

Now with an update from the kiddies!

Nothing terribly snazzy, but since I appear to be blowing off Flashback Friday!, I had a couple things I wanted to share with you.

UPDATED: My older girls had this link that they thought was hilarious, and wanted me to share. Okay, okay, I think the likelihood that this kid could function in his "before" state without being suspect, is slim...which is what they find funny. But, I'm sorry, the grown up in me thinks it's a little scary, too.


First up, it's "8 Important Lessons Learned From 80's Cartoons".

Some people, clearly, may have picked up the entirely wrong lessons.



Couldn't call this place "The Oral Report" and let this somewhat salacious newstory slip by. Oral sex amongst teens is a trend on a serious increase. I know some of you guys are regretting that you were born too soon.

Now you can act like a four year old and be justified in doing it! This site calculates your age on other planets. Accordingly, I will soon be relocation to Mars where I am a mere 23 year old!



In the "Gotta have one for Tony Collett" category, here's a new trend for the Star Wars fans. They're called Femtroopers and they are becoming just as popular (or moreso) than Princess Leia in her infamously sexy outfit. Wonder where the geek blogs will take this one.

Yeah, you know what, I really don't have to...




According to Like Better, based on the photos I liked better, their crack virtual psychoanalysts were able to determine that I'm a liberal, not very religious, right-handed, planner. They also determined that I'm a thirty something man. I'm chalking that up to me not being easily categorized. It was kinda cool seeing the various photos and then having the program "learn" things about me, though. If you try it, you simply click on the pic you like better of the two shown. Then, periodically, when the little brain in the lower left corner turns pink, click on it and you can see what has been "learned" about you. CAUTION: I'd rank it about as accurate as a National Enquirer horoscope.

I have tons and tons of "nostalgic" (yep, that's what I'm gonna call 'em) commercials, openings/theme songs to old tv shows, music videos, animated shorts, etc. on my Favorites list on You Tube. Anyone interested in an invitation, just email me and I'll shoot you one along. This will allow you to see just how deep the pit is. Some of the stuff is pretty hilarious, though, and will CERTAINLY take you back. (This is the Flashback portion of our show, and it's as close as you're likely to get around here today. If you have any complaints, take a number.)

Happy surfing, folks! Hope you all have a great weekend!! Oh, and Feliz Navidad to the Nortons!

4 Comments:

Blogger MJ Norton said...

Update link: Now I'm just waiting for this to become a bit of "serious evidence" used in some crusade. Almost as much fun as someone citing an article in The Onion.

"8 Important Lessons" is not only pretty funny, but it's an amazingly good sign for the relaunch of CRACKED, the earlier incarnation of which rarely rose above the lower end of second rate.

The oral sex plague report, well, I'm going to choose to read this as another cruel effort to torment the adults. I have to do that or else begin a regimen of cold showers every time I find myself wondering if there's a "glory hole" somewhere in the local high school. I don't want to go to prison.

By Jove! I'm not even four years old!

I must say that the Storm Troopette look wouldn't hurt some comics conventions.

Like Better only got as far as a guy and right-handed, then appeared to sieze up and refuse to let me vote any more despite telling me to.

9/08/2006 8:04 PM  
Blogger MJ Norton said...

Should I have dropped a ;) in the middle of that to make it seem less creepy to the people who don't know me well enough to know I was joking?

9/09/2006 5:41 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

I hope not, Mike. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

As for the update link, dress codes (including no baggy pants and always tucking in shirts) are the norm here. [Kid 2]'s new school does not have one and it's the first time in five years she hasn't.

9/09/2006 6:02 PM  
Blogger FindingHeart said...

Absolutely love the bottom two pics! Thanks for sharing.

As for the oral, yup, we have a middle school where for a while, girls were regularly in the guys bathroom blowing for dollars. This is mostly affluent upper class neighborhood. I was stunned. (Also because there is never any chicks in my bathroom at work!! ) *sigh*

9/10/2006 11:04 PM  

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