The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Friday, September 08, 2006

New and Improved

Remember those ads back in the day? The ones that would tout some product as being "new and improved"? You'd buy it. Get it home. And then discover that it was the same thing it always was. Maybe with different packaging.

Yeah. New and improved.

Well, I was working on a Flashback Friday! (that I'd actually started yesterday). It wasn't coming along as well as I'd have liked (and I may finish it and put it up here later...or not), and I had something else on my mind. So, here I am blogging about that. Instead. Fickle, I know. You all show up, fully expecting to trip back through my yesterdays and I'm all full (for those of you who said 'shit', same to ya!)

I'm not much on playing games. Oh, don't get me wrong, when it comes to Scene It!, or Scrabble, or Magic the Gathering, (and lately Crazy 8's) I'm on board. Big time! But games in relationships...any kind of relationships...sicken me. They are insulting and disrespectful and I simply have no use for them. Life is entirely too short for that crap.

That does NOT mean that I can't play them if my hand is forced. Simply that, afforded the option, I choose not to be that kind of person. I do not like it when I have to become that person. I do not like it, Sam I am.

Last night was [Kid 3]'s open house at school. And despite my ex and I having an understanding that we'll keep each other informed of this type of thing, I didn't mention it to him. Let me tell you why.

This past spring, while [Kid 3] was in kindergarten, her school had a reading program one evening. Know when I found out about it? After she and her dad got home from attending. It happened during the time in the visitation schedule when she was with her dad. It hurt my feelings terribly. I was sure she wondered why it hadn't been important enough for me to attend. But, as I've noted previously, a six year old's understandings of these things is extremely limited. Still, I let my ex know that I didn't appreciate it and he assured me it wouldn't happen again.

Of course, I was foolish enough to trust that he'd show me the respect to keep his word about allowing me the opportunity to be included in this part of my daughter's life. Why I continue to believe him, after so many lies and the continued disrespect...I don't know. I want to believe him. I want to believe that he is "new and improved".

Last week, while, once again, on the visitation rotation with their dad, the PTA put on a skating party fundraiser. Once again, I was excluded. Well, let me clarify. I got a call as they were heading out the door to the function. Once again, my feelings were disregarded. As I was told, "I figured since she was with me, I'd just take her." Gee, considering she's with me three weeks out of the month, that's setting a precedent I wouldn't think he'd be anxious to set, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's just exactly what we need, though. NOT to be around each other at all.

If that's the plan, I think I can live with it. But, once again, here I am being dragged to a place I didn't want to be, on a course I tried so hard to avoid.

Now, when I called him last night to let him know about the function (as I was heading out the door), I honestly wasn't sure if he might not already be on the way there. He had, you see, received exactly the same notification I had. The open house had been listed on the marquis in front of the school since the day school started. While he had the kids last week, he was back and forth to that school ten times to drop off and pick up [Kid 3]. I saw the notice. He certainly had the same opportunity.

I never had any such opportunity on either of the previous TWO occasions he failed to notify me.

So, last night, when I called him to tell him we were on our way and that "I figured since she was with me, I'd just take her," the "new and improved" Baron said he would have liked to have gone and would have appreciated a little more notice.

Gee, I guess I can understand that. It's a level of insensitivity and disrespect that no one, especially the parent of your child, should have to expect or endure. The reason I know this is not because I'm a Christian who believes that you should expect to be treated by others as you have treated them, it's because I've seen plenty of insensitivity and disrespect. Lived twenty years worth of it. It's neither "new", nor "improved". It's the same old thing, in a new package. Only this time, I'm not buying it.


Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

How unbelievable insensitive and frustrating.

Not that this is anything like what you're going through, but I got so annoyed with finding out about my nephew's school activities (I love going to the concerts and such) after the fact that now I just ask the kids when things are.

9/10/2006 11:55 AM  

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