The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Uniquely Challenged

I ran across a site the other day that had several unusual personal names. It gave me a smile and reminded me of a few I've run across in my own little world. In any event, I wanted to share the ones I know, as well as the ones I'd recently found. Feel free to add to the list. I'm always looking for a smile.

When I was in high school, I knew a girl named Essie Boarsuck (I've changed the spelling of her last name here, but it's phonetically accurate). She was a very nice, extremely bright, girl, but what a name.

During roughly the same time, my dad worked with a guy named 'Ordinary Greene'. (Again, I've changed the spelling of the last name.) He never did find out from the guy why he'd been saddled with such a first name, but I remember we used to muse about his brothers and sisters...Forrest and Kelly amongst them.

Then, about twelve years ago, I was working on a construction project for a city pool in central Indiana. We had this really cool twisty slide we were installing and it was coming from a company in Canada (the only supplier) and I was dealing with a man named 'Max Dickoff' (actual spelling). Let's just say that Max and I got to a first name basis in record time. I simply couldn't call him Mr. Dickoff, without cracking up.

Optimus Prime (born 1971) is a U.S. Army Ohio National Guard firefighter.
Apparently, he legally changed his name to Optimus Prime in May of 2001, on his 30th birthday, because the show character was like a "father figure" for him when he was growing up. I guess G.I. Joe was already taken.

Winner and Loser Lane are the sixth and seventh children of Robert Lane, respectively. "The only noteworthy achievement of Winner Lane, born in 1958, is his criminal record - nearly three dozen arrests for burglary, domestic violence, trespassing, resisting arrest and other crimes.

On the contrary, Loser Lane, born in 1961, graduated from Lafayette College in Pennsylvania, and joined the New York Police Department. He eventually advanced to become sergeant."

Jaime Cardinal Sin, was a priest of the Roman Catholic Church in the Philippines. He led the Archdiocese of Manila as its archbishop and was later elevated to the rank of cardinal by Pope Paul VI.

His name prompted many jokes and Sin himself made light of it. He often referred to his residence as "the house of Sin".

Byron "Low Tax" Looper legally changed his middle name as an electoral ploy, and then ended up murdering his opponent. I guess it wasn't working out well enough for him.

Of course, there's the famous skier Picabo (Pron. Peekaboo) Street. And while we're talking sports, you just can't leave out folks like NASCAR Driver Dick Trickle, baseball players Ten Million and Johnny Dickshot, hockey player Ron Tugnutt, basketball player Chubby Cox (Kobe Bryant's uncle, btw), and that football player that gave us all a chuckle, Dick Butkus.

Those crazy Texans naming their children things like Ima Hogg. Though her legendary sister, Ura Hogg, is just that. Legend.

I'm skipping over celebrity names (or there would be a whole chapter on the Frank Zappa family alone), and I'm not pulling out my soapbox to start in about the psychological effects (good or bad) of such things. Today, it's just about appreciating the distinctiveness. So what've you got?


Blogger Your Girl Friday said...

Hmm I can't think of any personal names.

But I used to live in Western Aus where their suburb names were stupid.

1) Innaloo - get it? In a loo?!!?!
2) Upper Swan

Gosh I'm funny. Not.

11/28/2006 10:07 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

I work with a Dick Grabbe and a Dick Seaman.

Some parents are very cruel.

12/07/2006 9:43 AM  

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