The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Flashback Friday!

With it being 'Black Friday', I'm sure everyone is thinking I've been off in the bargain-crazed throngs all day (not even close) or that I've got some Thanksgiving Flashback or a horror story of shopping on Black Friday. Nope. Wrong again. I've been so enjoying my holiday weekend, that I totally forgot it was time for another Flashback!

Remembering a little late in the day, I realize, but I'd thrown this together a couple days ago, so I was prepared when it finally did dawn on me. My humblest apologies. Without further ado, here's this week's edition.

I walked down to the little Chinese place near my office the other day, to pick up some carryout (to bring back and eat at my desk, because this week work has sucked soooooo bad) and noticed, for a first time, in a long time, the name on the door.

It's very similar to a name of another Chinese place that will forever hold a place of infamy in my family. We shall call this Flashback Friday! the tale of...The Golden Wok!

Nearly ten years ago, my younger sister worked as a secretary at the sixth floor nurse's station of one of the larger hospitals here in River City. I've never worked in that type of environment, but I can imagine that it's extremely demanding and stressful.

On one particular occasion (and I realize that the first part of this Flashback is not my own...work with me, here, people), my sister and several other members of the staff were having a very busy day with several new patient arrivals. As such, most of the sixth floor staff opted to order a lunch delivery.



From...The Golden Wok.




Eight of the ten employees working at the sixth floor nurse's station that day, including my sister, had ordered the Moo Goo Gai Pan (a specialty of that particular establishment, I hear), and when the food arrived, they each gobbled theirs down in 15 minute shifts.

Roughly thirty minutes later, it hit them. One by one they succumbed to some pretty debillitating symptoms of food poisoning. Bad, because the hospital could not replace them and they each had to suffer through the remainder of their shift.

My sister, concerned because of the situation, tried to call The Golden Wok, to see if other customers had become ill. Because The Golden Wok was having a very busy day, the person who normally took orders had been pressed into service making a nearby delivery. (Of course, it could be that they realized people were getting sick and closed their restaurant, too.)

Over and over she kept getting a recording..."Golden Wok, Open 11 O'Clock". Each time becoming more and more angry, and feeling more and more nauseous.

She never reached anyone at the restaurant that day and has, ever since, sworn off Chinese food completely. We'd be out shopping and I'd suggest we stop at a little Chinese place and she'd practically gag. It was bad.

About a year later, my niece, who is almost four years older than [Kid 1], was babysitting for me. It was spring break week and my kids were out of school. It was my niece's first "official" babysitting job and she was a little overwhelmed. She was doing okay, though.

My sister was a little concerned and was calling my house CONSTANTLY checking in. I finally had to tell her to give the girl a break. That was on Tuesday.

On Wednesday, I decided to have a little fun with her. (That's what big sister's do.) So, I called the kids and enlisted them in a little prank.

And then, about fifteen minutes later, I called my sister. It was midday and I got a slight tone of panic in my voice as we had this exchange:

ME: Hi. Have you talked to "W" (her daughter)?
HER: No.
ME: Well. [pause] I ask because I haven't been able to reach anyone at the house since early this morning and I was hoping maybe you'd talked to them.
HER: They wouldn't be outside or something, would they?
ME: No. It's raining. Have you looked outside lately?
HER: Oh. [pause] Are you worried.
ME: [trying to sound brave] I guess not. I was just hoping you'd talked to them and might know if they were okay. I suppose I'll try them again in a little while. I'll talk to you later. Hey, let me know if you hear from them, okay?
HER: Sure.
ME: [hanging up] bwa ha ha ha ha...

Of course, as soon as hung up, she immediately called my house.

Where the children had been instructed not to answer the phone.

And the answering machine picked up.

And instead of my recorded voice asking my sister if she'd like to leave a message, she got my niece's best imitation of an Asian accent...

"Golden Wok. Open 11 O'Clock."

Hey. The kids and I thought it was hysterical.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Tony Collett said...

You're evil ^_^

11/24/2006 10:34 PM  
Blogger AaA said...

I haven't read this yet, I stumbled across something I think you'll find enjoyable, and had to post it here ASAP. I'll get back to you on this entry...

CSI: Kentucky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1VvV03eoQE&mode=related&search=

11/25/2006 7:27 PM  
Blogger FindingHeart said...

Ah Beeg Sista, you too meeeean! LOL!

sayeth the guy who endured two older sisters. :)

11/26/2006 12:00 PM  
Anonymous SuperFiancee said...

Heh. I got an okay from our mom beforehand. (And she thought it was funny, too.) Even my little sis thought it was a great prank...after she got done cursing me...;)

11/26/2006 9:23 PM  
Blogger AaA said...

Ok, that there is some funny prankin'.

I see the link was properly butchered. If you try it you'll have to so some cut-and-pasting I suppose.

11/27/2006 10:06 AM  

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