The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Hippity Hoppity

Yeah, yeah, you've all seen that cartoon. It's dated, but it still cracks me up. And when I was looking for something seasonal, I just had to use it. You know it's funny. Admit it.

As a child, I greatly enjoyed Easter. Rubbing the sleep out of my bleary eyes as I stumbled to the living room early Easter morning, where I knew a basket of goodies would be waiting. Gorging myself on candy and then everyone heading outside to hunt the colored eggs I'd helped my mom dye the night before.

What's that you say? Easter is a 'religious' holiday? Well, huh. When I was a kid, I suppose I knew that Easter had something to do with Jesus' resurrection, but we didn't go to church or sing Easter hymns or even pray. We did wear funny hats (and my younger sister has the pictures to prove it), scratchy dresses and patent leather shoes to go hunt pastel eggs in the yard. Which always seemed odd to me, but hey, tradition doesn't always make sense. Especially when you're a kid. I mean, hey, when you're 7, there's no logic to hanging a sock over the fireplace on Christmas. But, you do it as soon as you figure out that someone's gonna fill it with goodies, and you don't ask no questions.

Now, at my house, there was always egg salad sandwiches for lunch on Easter (since there was always an abundance of boiled eggs) and my mom would bake a ham for dinner. My family always did excel at holidays that involve eating. So, basically, Easter, for me, was a nice spring day, full of candy and wearing uncomfortable clothes to hunt eggs.

For my kids it's virtually the same. When I was married to their dad, we'd go to Easter mass some years (probably 5 or 6 times in the last 16 years), and maybe visit his family (before his parents became infirmed), but otherwise, that was about it.

When my older girls were quite young, I took wicker baskets and painted one for each of them. And I (well, the bunny, I mean) have filled those same baskets for them every year since. [Kid 1}'s basket has large brightly colored Easter eggs all the way around. Striped and polka dotted in pinks and purples and greens and blues. [Kid 2]'s basket is square and has two sides that are painted in alternating pastel stripes and two sides that have a brown bunny face. When [Kid 3] came along, I couldn't leave her out, so I painted her one up with Easter candy all around. Jelly beans (even a few black ones, though no one at my house would eat the black jelly beans on a bet) and chocolate bunnies. It would appear that I need to come up with a design for one more. Not for a child. But for my very loveable kid-at-heart.

I pulled the girls' baskets out of the closet yesterday. And have bought most of the goodies that need to go inside them. I plan to finish on Friday with a couple small trinkets I need to pick up. And I need to do grocery shopping then as well, so I can get all the fixins for my ham dinner. The egg salad sandwiches don't go over well with my kids. And so, because I'm about the only one who eats boiled eggs, the dying of the eggs has kind of fallen by the wayside. The plastic eggs, filled with treats, have replaced the hen fruit. A little sad. But, that's the way these things go sometimes. Oh, I held out for a while, doing some boiled eggs and some plastic eggs. But, the kids don't even look for the boiled eggs and just leave them out there for animals to eat. It just seemed like such a waste of time, when they didn't get out of it what I had. Not sure why I started pining about Easter eggs. It's not where I meant to end up. Ah, how these tangents just sneak up on you!

So, let's shift gears a little. A few Easter links that may be of use or may just amuse. It matters not to me.

I know it's a touchy subject with some people, but I'm a peep kinda girl. My dad loves the peeps. In fact, he has a bit of a peep monkey on his back. If anyone knows of a 12 step peep program, please forward me the information. This has really become a thing now that you can get peeps virtually year-round! I don't have nearly that problem. And I now there are schools of thought that swear that peeps are best eaten slightly stale. I say "BAH!" to these faux peepophiles. Peeps must (must, I say) be eaten when they are at their soft and squishy freshest. Now being a traditionalist about these things, I will only eat peeps at Easter. And only a few. But, if you don't like peeps. Perhaps this link of Peep Jousting will be a more appropriate outlet for you.

And, while we are on the topic of Easter candy, a very funny blog post from Tequila Mockingbird last Easter was memorable enough that I wanted to include it here. I can't get just the single post, so scroll down, just slightly, to her March 15th post. Funny, funny lady. Too bad she's not blogging much anymore. But, I'm imagining it's because she's moved on to much bigger things, so that can't be bad.

The gays are taking over the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. It should be a good time for the Bush family. I'd love to hear that Cheney's daughter was somehow involved. If that's not enough Easter Egg fun for you, try Cap'n Wacky's Extreme Easter Egg Hunt! Love the one of the kid hunting an egg on the railroad tracks as a train is barreling down on her. Not real, of course, but I liked it anyway. And, hey, it's not just kids that enjoy a little egg hunt now and again. How about the hounds? An Easter egg hunt for dogs and me with no pets.

Perhaps an Easter game, of sorts? It's Bunny Hunt. You shoot the bunnies and tally up the score.

All right, that's all you get. It's time to pull out those white shoes and hit them with a coat of polish. Run down to the drug store and get a chocolate bunny. And get ready for the wafting fumes of hot vinegar and boiled eggs. 'Cause in just a few days, it's Easter. Ready or not. And, try not to eat candy 'til you puke this year. Okay?


Anonymous Leah said...

Man, I LOVE Peeps. The boy thinks I'm crazy for it. "It'll destroy your liver, etc."

And that cartoon? It's the one comic-type artifact hanging on my bulletin board at work. Never fails to amuse.

4/11/2006 5:03 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

Did you know there is a peep fan club?

Peeps (made by Just Born) is a local company here, they even have a Peep-mobile

In fact, peeps are quite the big deal here in the Lehigh Valley.

4/12/2006 9:17 AM  
Anonymous L.C. said...

Eeeeeewwwwwww I don't like Peeps! But my dh and kids LOVE them. I much prefer Cadbury Caramel Eggs.

Love the cartoon!

4/12/2006 10:16 AM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Leah -

Okay, the boy may be right. Probably your pancreas before your liver, but unhealthy I can't argue. But the moderation thing works, too. Right? I mean if you eat them only at Eastertime and only eat a few. Work with me, people!!!!

Julia -

Well, you've impressed me before. live in the land of peeps. I'm tearing up. You're so uber-cool!

L.C. -

Okay, I dig on the peeps. Really. But my favorite Easter candy is Reese's eggs. ::homer simpson-esque drool:: And back in the day, I was known to eat a Cadbury cream egg once in a while, but that's some serious sugar shock.

4/12/2006 10:56 AM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

I don't get the whole Peeps thing. My sister-in-law LOVES them, but I don't get it. I used to be a Cadbury Creme Egg freak, back when I could take a little sugar shock. Jellybeans, OK, but not the black ones. I gave those to my brother. Saved the bunny till last. My parents stopped with the baskets when we reached the age of no more trick-or-treating, either. Bummer.

4/15/2006 4:47 PM  

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