The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

They Must Have Removed My Funny Bone, Too

So I go to my gynecologist today for my follow-up appointment from my surgery. And just so we're all on the same page, I had a D&C, a thermal ablation and a tubal. (The tire rotation was extra, so I'm putting that off until next year.) And the reason that I had this overhaul was because of the significant pain...and flow. Major league cramping that was getting worse and worse and periods that were lasting 10 days and coming every 2-3 weeks. So, I finally sucked it up and went in for the overhaul.

And it wasn't pleasant.

And it cost a lot of money.

Anyway, I go in for the follow up today and the doctor checks my incisions and asks how I'm feeling, any bleeding...blah, blah, blah. No, Doc. Everything's cool. So, what can I expect in the way of my next period? I asked her that. I mean, she's the expert, right? She has the framed certificates up all over the place. And I swear to you, she said, and mind you, she was completely deadpan when she did it, "heavier than normal bleeding and some bad cramping."

HELLO!!!!!

Are you kidding me?????

I asked her if she was aware that April Fools had come and gone. She had this look on her face and went, "oh, wait...you had the ablation, too, didn't you?"

Whatever. Look at it again. Look at it however many times you have to look at it until it comes back with something better than that!!

Then, she kind of chuckled and went, "April Fools. Right. No, actually, you have should little or nothing. A couple days. Very light. No cramping. Sorry. Heh. That was funny, wasn't it?"

Yeah.

Funny.

Really funny.

I used to have a sense of humor. Really. I did.

4 Comments:

Blogger Highlander said...

And here I didn't think your doctor had much of a sense of humor at all... ;)

4/05/2006 6:02 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

Nothing that involves the words bleeding and cramps is funny.

Ever.

4/05/2006 11:31 AM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

I guess "first, do no harm" is out the window on April Fool's Day.

4/06/2006 11:37 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

"The walls of the 53rd Precinct were bleeding, how do you explain that?"

"Let us by!! Can't you see that this woman is suffering from an acute upper abdominal post-prandial distention?!? (Aside-- 'Cramps.')"

Defense rests.


Yeah, doctors that don't even try to familiarize themselves with the patients they're treating that day by, oh, I dunno, READING THEIR DAMN CHARTS, really tick me off.

4/08/2006 5:54 PM  

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