The Oral Report

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Monday, December 18, 2006

So This Is Christmas?

W-hiskey
T-ango
F-oxtrot?

Christmas is in a week and it's like 70 degrees outside, and was all last week, too.

This is wrong, wrong, WRONG.

Badly, dangerously wrong! The 'Fat Man' Ain't Comin' or Somthin' wrong. Alert Al Gore and The Science Dudes wrong.

Living in River City for (OMG, is it?) thirty years now, I've had many a flake-free Christmas. Snow, I mean. Doesn't mean I like it that way. I've come to accept the particular reality that the odds are against me having a white Christmas.

But we usually have cold. You bundle up in pretty Christmas sweaters and holiday scarves before heading out to sing carols or do last minute shopping. That's the way this shit is supposed to work, see?

YGF, I have no idea how to do Christmas in shorts and tank tops.

I don't wanna learn, either.

Somebody needs to turn winter back on now.

Please.

6 Comments:

Blogger Your Girl Friday said...

I have always wanted to have a White Christmas.

But it would just be WEIRD.

I like the fact we have Xmas in Summer, all gatherings are outdoors by the pool, water fights and backyard football on Christmas day. But I guess it's what we are used to - we don't know any different!

12/18/2006 5:51 PM  
Anonymous Always Esteemed Scott said...

I hear you. I live in the second coldest capital city in the world (after the capital of Tibet; really, you can look it up) and we've had temperatures in the 50s this week, and it's freaking me out.

I can't remember the last time we didn't have snow in Ottawa for Christmas. Unless we get a big 'ol cold front in the next 5 days, it's gonna be pretty wierd.

12/18/2006 10:42 PM  
Blogger AaA said...

Here in Central NY, the snowfall capital of the known universe, we just got a light dusting, which is melting away in this 35-40 degree nonsense.

The grass is still visible.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, indeed.

12/19/2006 3:56 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

YGF -

Christmas by the pool??? I'm likely scarred for life. But, perhaps this is one of those things where I should feel grateful that it's not that warm here.

Scott -

OMG, if it's 50 in Canada, what hope have we at all??? Except...Except...my request seems to have done some good, as the temps have dropped about 20 degrees today. Though the weather guy is calling for rain on Christmas. I hope he's wrong. Again.

Nate -

I'd take a light dusting. I'd take a single flake at this point. People were out playing golf in shorts two days ago. This is freakish!!

12/19/2006 4:02 PM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

Not a flake here, either. 50 degrees all week. I was out walking and passed a Santa-ish looking man who said to me, "Merry Un-White Christmas!"

It's sorta weird. My neighbor across the street has the mammoth Christmas display that's voted best in show for the whole area every year, and without snow, it just looks like a theme park. With snow, it sparkles, and underneath a layer of the white stuff, the lights around the evergreens make them seem to glow.

But it sure makes driving around manically to get those last minute things done a lot easier.

I can live with this. As long as it doesn't rain. Now that sucks.

Merry Foxtrot Christmas!

12/24/2006 11:31 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

A dry, somewhat warmish x-mas up here, with not a flake on the ground.

12/25/2006 7:38 AM  

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