The Oral Report

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I'm in the Mood for Love





With Valentine's Day bearing down on us, I wanted to pass along (as I had last year) a few helpful links.







First, you're gonna need Valentine's cards, right? Okay, here's the hook up. I mean it. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts is offering a special if you buy a dozen doughnuts, they will give you a dozen valentine's cards, each with a coupon for one free doughnut inside. (Please do not thank me by sending me a card.)




Want a little something special on your Valentine's cards? (NOT THAT! Oh, what a sick little monkey you are!!)


I'm talking about stamps, Perv! Check out these stamps featuring celebrity kisses. Mail a little something to your Sweetie with Jessica Alba's lipstick on it. Or Gene Simmons'. Whatever floats your boat, I say.

Your Valentine is the Prettiest Girl Alive. You tell her so every day. She's so superficial that wants you to prove it? Here's the answer to your prayers. An Ebay auction for a chance to post any picture for 24 hours on the Prettiest Girl Alive website.

Not sure where to take your special someone for such a romantic and intimate holiday? Fear not, White Castle has made it easy for you. Simply make a reservation and you will have a candlelit dinner for two awaiting your arrival.

What Valentine's Day would be complete without a gift for that special someone? I've got a few options for you. You know I wouldn't let you down.

Okay, we can all agree that soap-on-a-rope is so '1972'. Right? Here's a little homemade project that will win you some points. Heart-shaped soap with a little something extra.

But, WAIT!! Have I got a special for you!! Condom Man has a FANTASTIC Valentine's Day sale going on! Don't wait, though. You wouldn't want to miss out on 100 condoms for $20 would you??

Now, once you've taken advantage of that special, here's a little quiz to help you work out the best time to try to...um...present them. Figure out your best time of the day/night for some of that EXTRA special Valentine's giving.

Hmmm, none of these things sound quite right for your special Valentine, huh? Well, fear not. I haven't pulled out ALL the stops yet. How about this? You trick suggest to your significant other that they take this online quiz you found. The great part is that the compilers will then send YOU an email telling you what kind of gift your Valentine would like to have. That's half the work!

Lastly, don't forget the romantic music. Whether you are singing something on bended knee or boxing up concert tickets, music is nearly always a right choice.



So don't wait until the last minute! Everybody have fun tonight!! Everybody...(you know the rest of it.)

2 Comments:

Blogger AaA said...

Here's some goodValentine's music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHz8AxgIuhM

1/31/2007 10:03 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Uh huh.

Well, if your "Valentine" is someone you deeply, deeply despise....then....yes, yes it IS good Valentines Music.

Thanks for sharing it.

2/01/2007 3:54 PM  

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