The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Every Day I'm Reminded That I'm A Geezer

See, I don't wanna be old. Yet, every day I'm reminded that I'm a geezer. I don't wanna avoid it to the point of craziness, but I suppose that's all in one's perspective.

Once upon a time, I used to wear petal pushers and a POW bracelet and ride a bike with a banana seat sporting a white wicker basket on the front with pink and purple flowers and the matching pink and purple streamers on the handle bars. We had a blonde woodtone (yep, that's code for fake) black and white tv set, and my dad drove a woody (the station wagon, you pervs).

As I got a little older, elephant leg pants and halter tops came into style, and mini dresses that were so short they had matching panties. Guys wore their hair long and girls were wearing theirs short.

The world was...you know...right.

My kids all attend schools with uniform dress codes. With rules specifically outlined that tell them what clothing, jewelry, make-up, etc. they can and cannot wear in a public school. This disturbs me. A lot actually. I hate to see individual freedoms cast so idly aside.

However.

However, I find I am becoming a fuddy duddy about some current trends. And am counting down the days until they become as outdated as Izod shirts and white painters pants.

High on this list is the sagging pants thing. It drives me crazy. PULL UP YOUR GODDAM PANTS!!! I have warned my girls about the embarrassment that will befall them if they ever bring a guy home to meet me who is dressed in something like this. And, I'm pretty sure, they believe me.

While surfing today, though, I ran across this link, and found myself going "yeah, yeah, YEAH!". I see the goth kids as expressing themselves and when it's not completely over the top, it's tolerable. Even fun. But some of these people just take the stuff to heights that I can't imagine.

Don't they know that they'll be cringing when they look back on this stuff in 15 years? Kinda like we do when we see stuff like this.

The discovery that I'm a music snob doesn't help either. But, dammit, I don't like Bone Thugs 'N Harmony w/ Tupac singing "Thug Luv", or Outkast doing "Spottieottiedopalicious". People who name themselves Mystikal, Ludacris and Geto Boys need to use spell check. I mean it. It's annoying to me.

I realize I'm zipping right over the grey hair, aging health related issues, and a great many other really depressing things that come with getting older. Those, alone, make a geezer out of the best of us. But I HATE feeling like I'm some crotchety old woman shaking her cane at the weird neighbor kids. But they're making me do it!

All of these movies that are getting remade...I remember the originals. AUGH!! I remember the GOODBYE GIRL when it came out. Hell, I went and saw it at the theatre! And all of the first STAR WARS trilogy. Remember Dobie Gray's version of "Drift Away"...from like 1973? Well, I DO! Not that I don't like Uncle Cracker's version (actually, I do), but it makes me feel old as fuck to think they're remaking songs from my youth.

And have you seen Leif Garrett lately? Let me direct you to Mark Gibson's place for a little flashback that will leave you screaming! [Check his January 19th post.]

Someone has to do something about this. There's not much time. The rocking chairs at the Cracker Barrel are looking better and better. And I saw this really cute pale blue shawl that would go so well with my eyes...

4 Comments:

Blogger ash said...

I can sympathise with some of the 'grumpy old men' but at the same time I don't like people complaining about change or harking back to some 'golden age' that never existed. Then again I'm 22 and I can't understand/stand some of things kids do these days.

1/22/2006 3:02 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Almost every song on Radio Disney is a remake from my youth. While I'm left wondering why they don't just play the original, I am pleased that my daughter and I can sing the same songs. As for those dumbass baggy pants, I am with you all the way...it looks like the nitwits need a diaper change.

ash- Being a grumpy old man, I try not to go that whole back in my day route. I like livin' in the present and try to balance my complaints with an equal amount of admiration/jealousy over some of the cool/kewl stuff that the youth of today have access to.

1/22/2006 3:44 PM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

Hey, G, we could have shared a wardrobe and played Barbies. Except my banana-seat bike got stolen. It was purple, and boy, was I bitter. I couldn't listen to my Bobby Sherman albums for a week.

I have a fourteen-year-old nephew who goes CRAZY over "ancient" stuff. Like our old Atari and Nintendo games. (The original Nintendo, with Duck Hunt!) Stereos. My mother's Apple IIE computer.

Little bastard.

Yeah, I can seem them at our age, downloading a Tupac MP3, while their kids roll their eyes and are into, I don't know, Mozart or something.

1/22/2006 5:39 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Ash -

I'm pretty sure I'm glazing over a great many rotten things from my youth (high amongst them my folks talking about what a pain in the ass things we did was to them), but I think most people have fond memories of the "good old days". I love the life I have right now. There are times, however, that I wish my kids had gone through some of the same things that I did. Things that I felt gave me insight and character. But those days are over. And I know it. And most of the time, I'm okay with it. As long as I keep taking my meds...;)

Mark -


Yeah, it's funny that my older girls get into the "oldies" as much as they do. And I actually listen to some of their music...but pretty selectively. I find I'm a pretty big Green Day fan and would have never thought that possible.

Opus -


My bike was blue and I actually had it until it became yardsale fodder long after I got my first car. But I kept my Malibu Barbie with the big pink sunglasses for years. Sitting on the front porch with my friends, riding all of our dolls around in the Beach Buggy was just...groovy. And I totally dug Bobby Sherman, too. I watched HERE COME THE BRIDES religiously. See, Ash, I told you it wasn't ALL good...

1/22/2006 7:36 PM  

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