Flashback Friday!

I'm instituting a new Theme Day idea around here. Not sure if I'll keep it up, but we'll see. It came to me kind of in layers. I had seen a post on Bluegrass Mama's blog, that reminded me of a funny story from my own past (which I shared with her briefly,via email). And then, because I'm really, really old, I started thinking of several funny stories from my own past that I could share. And rather than pick just one, I thought maybe I could do one a week. Sort of like Opus' Fiction Friday series. So, until further notice, Friday will be my day to open up and share a flashback.

This particular moment goes back to my college days. The very early 80's when I was young and sassy and naive (what a dangerous combination) and a freshman at River City University. As I walked from a parking lot on the far side of campus to one of the two liberal arts buildings on that fateful crisp fall morning, I hadn't a care in the world. Dressed in one of my then favorite outfits, a tartan blue plaid flannel dress. A cinched waist and a very full mid-calf skirt, it felt like I was wearing a nightgown. I so loved that dress. I had thrown on a pair of pantyhose and some navy flats and I was on my way that morning.

After slowly making my way across the bustling campus, enjoying all the activity and the weather, I worked my way through the crowded lobby of the liberal arts building and headed up the stairs to the second floor. My classroom was at the far end of the long corridor off the stairway, and, after fighting through the throngs of people in that corridor, I finally got to my classroom. Most of the class was already full, and as I looked for an empty seat, there were only a very few left. At the far opposite side of the room.

At this point, I had probably passed 100 people on my way from my car to my seat in class. Unfortunately, no one I knew. I worked my way to the back of the class and the first available seat, put my purse and books down on the desk, reached back to smooth the skirt of my dress as I sat down, and...

and...

and...

all the blood drained from my face. There was no skirt to smooth. None. I didn't want to draw the attention of the possibly two or three people who had not already noticed my situation, so I didn't look to see how bad it was.

But, I had. Yes, I had. I had tucked the entire skirt of my dress into the back of my pantyhose. My entire ass hanging out for all to see as I'd walked across the whole campus of a HUGE university. I thought my brain was going to explode as I began to panic wondering whether I should sit down and try to make it through class until everyone left the room and I could quickly fix it before leaving. Could I possibly sit through an entire lecture embarrassed and thinking everyone in this room has seen my ass and knows I'm sitting here with my dress tucked up in my pantyhose? Oh, there was no way. Was there any way I could fix it quickly now without making things worse? Nope. Didn't see that happening either. In my mind, I only had one option.

I calmly (so as not to draw more attention to the situation) picked up my purse and books, worked my way back through the classroom and out into the hall and to the closest ladies room, where I corrected my wardrobe malfunction. I then walked directly to the registrar's office and dropped the class. (I just COULDN'T go back in there and face those people who had seen a side of me I usually didn't share so easily.) And as soon as I got home, I took off the dress and, despite how much I loved it, put it directly into the trash. I honestly feared that if I wore it again on campus, I'd hear people who might not have recognized me otherwise, whispering "There's that girl that walked all the way across campus with her ass showing!". Or worse, hear Nelson Muntz going "Ha, Ha!" and pointing. (Though, technically, I don't think the Simpsons were around until 1987, earliest, so, you'll have to forgive me the reference, but it totally applies in retrospect.)

I never did see or hear any of that, of course. In fact, so many of those people were busy with so many other things, that, looking back now, maybe only a handful of people (at most) ever even noticed. But it was earth-shattering at the time. Of course, I find it very funny now. One of those things from my hopelessly naive youth. If it happened to me now, I'd laugh it off and never give it a second thought. But then, oh, I was mortified!! I suppose I've got a little more self-confidence (as well as the ability to laugh at myself...though I always had a pretty good dose of that) now than I had then. I guess it helps.

Dee, if you're lurking, I know you remember this story. Damn, I miss that dress!!