Santa Must Die
It's only March. Don't panic. There's plenty of time to find a replacement.
One of my bosses is a little jolly elf-like older gentleman. He is white haired and wears little wire-rimmed glasses and has pudgy pink cheeks and a little round belly that shakes, when he laughs, like a bowlful of jelly.
Leland has been a fixture here at Rupert and McElroy for 40 years. He is a very sweet man and he is one of the few people in this office who portrays genuine interest in the employees working here. He is the first one to take you to lunch and is the most generous of the bosses when it comes to anything monetary. All of the above is why he has, very affectionately, earned the nickname of ‘Santa Clause’.
Now, I’ve only been working here at Rupert and McElroy for a little over four years. But even over the course of those four years, I have seen the steady decline in Leland’s competence. He, at 75, wants to continue to be an active and vital part of the daily operations of this firm. Commendable. Laudable. And, I'm all about having respect for what the older generations have to offer to society as a rule. But on an individual basis, Leland just needs to find another outlet. Mentoring, perhaps. Because at this point, he is piloting this company (with far too many eager co-pilots, I'm afraid), in true John Denver fashion, slamming head-long into the side of a mountain.
Leland’s negative impact on my position has become more and more a regular thing. And I hate that, because I really do like the guy. He’s always been extremely decent to me. I wish he would retire and quit making everyone else’s job more difficult. I know that sounds very ungrateful.
Monday, for instance, I needed to schedule appointments for Leland and Moe (of Larry, Moe and Curly Construction) to meet with seven different residents of Hell. They were going to look into various new items that have shown up on the new lists we are now addressing. I called Leland and told him that I’d like to set these appointments up for Tuesday or Wednesday, and asked him what his schedule looked like. “Wide open”, he said. I said, “Fine, I’ve already spoken to Moe and he said that his only problem would be Thursday morning, but as our response is due back on Thursday, I really want to get this done before that. So, I’ll get this all set up and call you back.” This because Leland doesn’t usually get here at our 7:30AM starting time each day.
So, Polly Professional that I am, I call each of the seven condo owners and, starting at 9AM, get them all scheduled in succession, for Tuesday morning. Which is not easy, because they never want to do it when you need them to do it and you have to beg and plead and try to act like you give a damn, which is, at this point, hard for me to muster. So, I call Moe, and let him know that he should meet Leland on site at 9AM to begin and that I’d email him the schedule. Moe grumbles a little, because I’m starting him early, but agrees to be there on time. And then I call Leland, and let him know the same thing. Except Leland says, “I can’t start that early.” I’m trying not to say anything too snarky. I like Leland. He’s Santa after all. But, I have already called seven people and, working within their daily schedules, have set up a fairly tight plan. And he's being exasperating!
What slips out is, “Oh, I’m sorry, Leland, I must have misunderstood you. I thought you said you were available any time tomorrow.” And he must have picked up on my subtle message, and said, “I know I did, but I really have to get some things done in the morning.” And I said, “Okay, well as it’s 4:00 now, let me start calling everyone back and try to get this all pushed into the afternoon. And I’ll call Moe back, too and make sure that will work for him.” Leland apologized and said he hadn’t realized I was going to have to call and schedule all of this. What the hell did he think was going to happen??? You just show up and everyone happens to be at home on a Tuesday afternoon? AUGH!!!!!
At this point, I’ve done the impossible, once again, and have rescheduled and have contacted Moe and he’s okay with it. Leland seems to be working it out as well. But when Tuesday morning rolls around, Leland comes in here, picks up the schedule for his appointments and starts bitching like my six year old. "I don't understand why I have to do this. Can't you do this, Tammy? I don't have time for this stuff." Grrr!! Shut Up, Santa!
But, this is only one incident in a long, painful list. Recently, I have been asked, more and more, by one of my other bosses to make sure Leland gets "whatever" done. Now, I don't have time to get my job done and do Leland's, too. I told the boss who asked me to do this, if maybe Leland shouldn't be given so many responsibilities if he was no longer able to keep up with them himself. And I get the little pat on the head and the "yeah, yeah" and then, when Leland drops the ball...again...I get that lecture about how Leland is getting older and we all (English translation = ME) need to be making sure that things he is working on get done.
Though he's not alone around here in this respect, Leland is also non-confrontational to a fault. What I mean is that anytime there is bad news, Leland will hand it off to me to deliver. He hates having to tell people something he knows that they don't want to hear. No one likes that. I realize it. But, hey, they make the big bucks around here and I am pretty tired of being the wounded messenger.
LeLand's other favorite thing to do is to assign a task to two (or three) different people, because he's forgotten that he's already given it to someone. We'll find out during the course of getting some report together that someone else is working on the same damned thing. Two of us wasting our time in an office that is already seriously understaffed.
And so, this is why, my friends, Santa. Must. Die.
I love him.
He's an icon.
But, he's overstayed his welcome and he's turned evil. He must go.
It is for the greater good.
One of my bosses is a little jolly elf-like older gentleman. He is white haired and wears little wire-rimmed glasses and has pudgy pink cheeks and a little round belly that shakes, when he laughs, like a bowlful of jelly.
Leland has been a fixture here at Rupert and McElroy for 40 years. He is a very sweet man and he is one of the few people in this office who portrays genuine interest in the employees working here. He is the first one to take you to lunch and is the most generous of the bosses when it comes to anything monetary. All of the above is why he has, very affectionately, earned the nickname of ‘Santa Clause’.
Now, I’ve only been working here at Rupert and McElroy for a little over four years. But even over the course of those four years, I have seen the steady decline in Leland’s competence. He, at 75, wants to continue to be an active and vital part of the daily operations of this firm. Commendable. Laudable. And, I'm all about having respect for what the older generations have to offer to society as a rule. But on an individual basis, Leland just needs to find another outlet. Mentoring, perhaps. Because at this point, he is piloting this company (with far too many eager co-pilots, I'm afraid), in true John Denver fashion, slamming head-long into the side of a mountain.
Leland’s negative impact on my position has become more and more a regular thing. And I hate that, because I really do like the guy. He’s always been extremely decent to me. I wish he would retire and quit making everyone else’s job more difficult. I know that sounds very ungrateful.
Monday, for instance, I needed to schedule appointments for Leland and Moe (of Larry, Moe and Curly Construction) to meet with seven different residents of Hell. They were going to look into various new items that have shown up on the new lists we are now addressing. I called Leland and told him that I’d like to set these appointments up for Tuesday or Wednesday, and asked him what his schedule looked like. “Wide open”, he said. I said, “Fine, I’ve already spoken to Moe and he said that his only problem would be Thursday morning, but as our response is due back on Thursday, I really want to get this done before that. So, I’ll get this all set up and call you back.” This because Leland doesn’t usually get here at our 7:30AM starting time each day.
So, Polly Professional that I am, I call each of the seven condo owners and, starting at 9AM, get them all scheduled in succession, for Tuesday morning. Which is not easy, because they never want to do it when you need them to do it and you have to beg and plead and try to act like you give a damn, which is, at this point, hard for me to muster. So, I call Moe, and let him know that he should meet Leland on site at 9AM to begin and that I’d email him the schedule. Moe grumbles a little, because I’m starting him early, but agrees to be there on time. And then I call Leland, and let him know the same thing. Except Leland says, “I can’t start that early.” I’m trying not to say anything too snarky. I like Leland. He’s Santa after all. But, I have already called seven people and, working within their daily schedules, have set up a fairly tight plan. And he's being exasperating!
What slips out is, “Oh, I’m sorry, Leland, I must have misunderstood you. I thought you said you were available any time tomorrow.” And he must have picked up on my subtle message, and said, “I know I did, but I really have to get some things done in the morning.” And I said, “Okay, well as it’s 4:00 now, let me start calling everyone back and try to get this all pushed into the afternoon. And I’ll call Moe back, too and make sure that will work for him.” Leland apologized and said he hadn’t realized I was going to have to call and schedule all of this. What the hell did he think was going to happen??? You just show up and everyone happens to be at home on a Tuesday afternoon? AUGH!!!!!
At this point, I’ve done the impossible, once again, and have rescheduled and have contacted Moe and he’s okay with it. Leland seems to be working it out as well. But when Tuesday morning rolls around, Leland comes in here, picks up the schedule for his appointments and starts bitching like my six year old. "I don't understand why I have to do this. Can't you do this, Tammy? I don't have time for this stuff." Grrr!! Shut Up, Santa!
But, this is only one incident in a long, painful list. Recently, I have been asked, more and more, by one of my other bosses to make sure Leland gets "whatever" done. Now, I don't have time to get my job done and do Leland's, too. I told the boss who asked me to do this, if maybe Leland shouldn't be given so many responsibilities if he was no longer able to keep up with them himself. And I get the little pat on the head and the "yeah, yeah" and then, when Leland drops the ball...again...I get that lecture about how Leland is getting older and we all (English translation = ME) need to be making sure that things he is working on get done.
Though he's not alone around here in this respect, Leland is also non-confrontational to a fault. What I mean is that anytime there is bad news, Leland will hand it off to me to deliver. He hates having to tell people something he knows that they don't want to hear. No one likes that. I realize it. But, hey, they make the big bucks around here and I am pretty tired of being the wounded messenger.
LeLand's other favorite thing to do is to assign a task to two (or three) different people, because he's forgotten that he's already given it to someone. We'll find out during the course of getting some report together that someone else is working on the same damned thing. Two of us wasting our time in an office that is already seriously understaffed.
And so, this is why, my friends, Santa. Must. Die.
I love him.
He's an icon.
But, he's overstayed his welcome and he's turned evil. He must go.
It is for the greater good.
posted by SuperWife | 8:11 AM
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