The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

Blocking out the scenery. Breaking my mind.

Do this. Don't do that. Can't you read the sign?

I've got links today. Lots and lots of links. No theme. Not many connections. Just odd and/or interesting things I saw and wanted to share. First, I wanted to start out with some funny sign links.

Have fun making your own "For Dummies" book. Turn this link into something like...this...

Or you can put your own message on signs here,or evenhere. Kinda like these.

Moving on from there, you've certainly heard of lawn gnomes trekking across the world and the myriad of photographic evidence of their exploits. But here's a twist...or two. While duck travels is basically, the same premise, only with a duck instead of the lawn gnome, The 15 Traveling Deaths is a site where a guy chronicles his travels around the world and takes a photo of himself in various death poses wherever he goes. Just weird enough for me to appreciate.

Toilet Snorkel is just one of the Totally Absurd Inventions on this patent list. This device is to be used in case of a large building fire to allow you to get fresh (well, not smoke-laden) air to breath until rescuers can get to you.

And while we're discussing toilets, how about this news story about Jerry Garcia's toilet being stolen. The police have no leads, but the owner is offering a $250 reward.

Something kinda cool on the fashion front. Clothing made from electrochromic polymers might still be a ways off, but geeks will be embracing this stuff like crazy!

Okay, you're wearing your cool new color changing clothes at the club. You meet a hottie, but you' don't know...50 or something. And she's like 23. You know what you need. You need a Viagra Ring! Keep the goods handy so you're always ready! Now, conversely, if you're wife buys you this ring, try not to get depressed.

A fun little game I ran across. It remains to be seen, however, once he's been rousted from the House Chambers, where, indeed, Mr. DeLay will wind up. Prison, is my first thought/suggestion, but it would appear that he may still be working in Washington. The old boys take care of their own, they do.

Representative Tom Delay has announced that he is resigning. Unfortunately, he's a little reluctant to leave and is hiding in the house chambers.

Using a hammer, you have one minute to convince him that it's time for him to move on. Be careful not to hit any of the other representatives that you may come across.

For any Edgar Rice Burroughs fans out there (and I know I have one shacking up with me), here's a link to an ERB zine site that has an unbelievable library.

Lastly, just for Tony Collett, here's a Star Wars Easter Egg Hunt. (And in a somewhat related story from last Friday,

As Ghyslain Raza recalled, whenever he walked by his high school's common areas, other students would jump on tables and chant, "Star Wars Kid! Star Wars Kid!"

There would be a commotion as they shouted and poked at him, trying to get a reaction. "It was simply unbearable," he said.

An otherwise ordinary teen in this Quebec small town, Mr. Raza had become a worldwide object of ridicule when schoolmates put on the Internet a video of him clumsily pretending to be a Star Wars character.

Three years later, Mr. Raza and his parents this week reached an out-of-court settlement with the families of three former schoolmates they had sued for $351,000 in damages.)

I hope everyone has a great weekend and Happy Easter (if you're celebrating it)!


Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

Several of my favorite signs (some of these you just can't make up)

On a convenience store that sits roadside in front of a graveyard: "Addictions To Go." This is actually the name of the store.

Construction work is being done in front of a store that sells pools and spas. They've put up a road sign: "Dip"

On a storefront: "Pizza and Live Bait."

4/15/2006 11:09 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

My personal favorite is the billboard ad for getting help with illiteracy...

4/15/2006 8:04 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Have you ever heard Louis CK's standup routine about that signs song? It's a riot. Essentially, that you have to be pretty desperate for things to be mad at when you're now lashing out at signs. Like, forget war: "grrr...signs! They're tearing up the scenery! Breaking my mind!"

4/16/2006 6:52 PM  

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