A Day in My Head
*alarm clock buzz*
I don't want to go to work today. Can I possibly stay home? What do I have important today. I've got to finish getting ready for that meeting at 'Hell' tonight. And I have to go to that. No way I can get out of that meeting. Damn. Gotta go to work. Snuggle Highlander. MMMMMMMMMMMM, That's nice. Too nice. Really don't want to get up now! Damn. Wonder how the kids are. I need to call them when they get home from school today. I hope they aren't still hiding out in their room from their dad. I hate thinking of them having to survive this week by avoiding him altogether. I miss them. I'm glad they'll be home in a few days. Gee, I should have done some laundry. Have I got anything to wear to this meeting today anyway? Is it supposed to rain today? Maybe I should brush my teeth before Highlander gets in the shower. And I should take my medicine. And make sure he takes his. What can I pack in his lunch today? I need to lay something out of the freezer for dinner, while I'm in the kitchen. Don't forget! Did I charge my cellphone last night. Yeah, I did. Good. I hate when I forget to plug it in. Luckily this one holds charge better than the old one. I hated that old one. It would just drop a call for no damned reason. I probably used up all my minutes last night talking to the kids. One phone call. I hate when they have to go through that stuff. I wish I could do more to help them. It just sucks. Okay, I'll wear my brown pants today. They're clean...enough. Too rainy for sandals. Loafers it is. I totally missed "American Idol" last night. I wonder who will get kicked off tonight. I should check my email. And I should make myself a list of what all we have going on this weekend. It's gonna be killer. I know I'm going to [Kid 1]'s school on Friday, and I need to go to the grocery, and my sister and I are going out shopping to get flowers to plant in Mom's yard on Sunday. Damn that cat! All night that thing has been out there yowling. That's like three nights in a row now. Can't somebody DO her and shut her up??? Isn't Highlander supposed to clean the floors on Thursday. I think that's what he said. I still need to pick up around here and dust. And the plumber is coming on Thursday. I need to make sure Highlander remembers what all he is supposed to look at. Aren't we having a 'Date Night' on Friday? How am I going to get everything done? I need to squeeze a walk in somewhere here. Don't forget to take that movie back to the library. I wonder why that Rite Aid drug store next door to the library is never open when I'm over there anymore. They have merchandise on the shelves. And it's not like I'm going in the middle of the night. Seems like they'd be open. That's been going on for a month now. I wonder what that's about. I should do something nice for Highlander. He's been putting up with a lot of crap because of me lately. I'll have to think about it a little. I hope his mom likes the Mother's Day thing we sent. It'd be nice if we could work it out to go see them this summer. I wish I hadn't had to spend so much money on lawyers. I know it was the right thing. He'd have never done it any other way. He made that abundantly clear. It just seems like such a huge waste. Money that I could have spent on making the girls' lives better. Well. Maybe that's what I did do with it. I should blog a little today. What am I going to do for Flashback Friday! this week? I think I'll save the story of [Kid 1]'s delivery for the end of the month...her birthday. But it's kind of Mother's Day like, too. Decisions. Decisions. I'm glad I got my flower boxes planted last weekend. They look good, too. I need to remember to water them today. I haven't for a couple days. Highlander needs some new tennis shoes. We need to remember to get those. Is there any way I can work in some sex before I have to leave for work this morning? If I can talk Highlander into packing his own lunch...and if I don't get on the computer at all...and if I do my make-up in the car... I wonder if I should get new tires for the car? I need to clean it out, and maybe wash it, this weekend. I need a new one. Hardly see how that's gonna happen for a while, though. Highlander was gonna order a copy of his birth certificate this week, so we can work on getting his driver's permit. I need to remind him to do that. Do I have time for breakfast today? I'm really not hungry right now. I'm glad we got that new printer. I wish the cable company would finish their broadband updates. I wonder if we've got a virus or if it's just the broadband. It's aggravating as hell to have problems with the computer. I remember the first office job I had and when they got computers for the first time. Gads, I'm old. Might as well say I remember when the wheel first came on the scene. I hope Mike Norton's mother is okay. He just doesn't need another thing to worry about. You think Nate is gonna be okay? I wish he'd let me know how he's doing. I should send him a note today. Haven't seen much from Marci. I hope things are okay with her. Opus' new job seems to be going well. I hope Highlander can tough it out to Thursday this week. The day off will help. I wish I could take the day off with him. He probably needs the time alone, though. Can't imagine going from a living environment of total solitude to the constant chaos that is my life. Gotta be killing him...
Highlander: "Honey, did you want to brush your teeth before I get in the shower?"
Me: "Yeah, I was just thinking about doing that."
posted by SuperWife | 9:29 AM
8 Comments:
Most day, it seems, I've left much of the pre-day clutter behind as a relic. It's back there somewhere with Hope.
Oh, I know I go through the same snooze alarm rationalizations as most, but generally contemplating the day ahead is such a depressing exercise that I've stopped doing it and simply tried heading back into the oblivion of sleep.
I guess that would make mine more akin to, Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
But not in a good way, you understand.
Well, when I clicked on this, the page layout was messed up. First there was the links, then the post.
And then the comments...
If what I suspect is true, then it can truly be said the Mike fucked things up here ^_^
Whew!! You guys are HIGH maintenance!!
Yes, Tony, you are correct! Mike fucked my blog! I was actually working on corrections when your post popped up. I had hoped to be done before anyone else got in. But I've moved things around and hope I've done all the necessary housekeeping to make things work normally (heh) again.
In response to your comment, Mike, yes, I generally leave all that pre-day clutter behind, too. Just amazes me, sometimes, all the crap that runs through your head in the matter of a (relatively) few minutes. Maybe thinking...well...what you said IN a good way, maybe that would help. I thought most guys did that all day anyway...;)
Yeah, I almost split it up when I saw that the great shaft of fornication was projecting off the page, but from here that's all it was doing. The rest looked fine... inside the comments block. I didn't consider what it would do to the overall post once people pulled that up and comments were part of the same layout. Sorry 'bout that.
As for what one might think about "all day", well, I've never been a typical guy.
Stream-of-consciousness is cool. I like it anyway. I'm doing ok I guess. Step 3 is in the opening phases, but the start was delayed by a minor fender-bender on his part.
I wonder if guys have this sort of thing going on- this is like a perfect reflection of the constant rambling going on in my head at any given time. Its exhausting!
I do wonder what it would be like for a guy who has always been single to move in with a pre-existing family with children and noise and mess and all of the chaos that entails... I really can't imagine what that's like for them.
What's it like? Well, let's compare and contrast --
Christmas, 2002. I don't feel like spending $60 on a full blown Christmas tree just for myself, but I get lucky and find an old collapsible Christmas tree, about two feet high, someone has left next to our dumpster. It's the kind with the little Christmas tree balls molded into the artificial limbs. I take it home, wrap a strand of tinsel around it, put my cheap electric blinking star on top of it, and call myself holiday decorated. That Christmas Eve, after my mom drops me off from the family get together in a town thirty miles away, I go in the house, watch some BUFFY on DVD, stay up until around 2 a.m., wish myself a Merry Christmas, and go to bed. Next morning, I get up, pull out the Boston Market Feast for Five I bought a couple of days before and stuck in the fridge, and hunker down to watch some more BUFFY all day long, resolutely ignoring all the holiday-making going on all around me.
Before I moved in here, that was... well, it was a pretty good Christmas, all things considered.
Now, Christmas 2005... well, for that one, see this link
. And then you'll understand, at least, what it's like for me, and how dizzyingly, euphorically wonderful my life has been, since I moved in with SuperGirlfriend and the SuperKids.
Nate -
Always happy to hear good news from you, and that you are on step 3 of the grand plan is no exception. Again, let me know when to start the prep for step 4...;)
Spider Girl -
I don't think guys do. I think they think about sex a great deal and probably a few other things from time to time, but nothing like what I believe goes on in most womens' heads. And, I couldn't agree more, it's terribly exhausting.
As for the significant changes in Highlander's life, I wonder about it frequently. I don't know that I could do much to curb the impact, but I do think about it and hope that he will let me know when he is feeling smothered. So far, we've been okay, and he genuinely seems to be embracing the entire situation...but there are times that I have my doubts.
But, tonight, as [Kid 1] heads to a singing performance at one school, while [Kid 2] heads to an orchestra performance at another, I had assumed H and I would be accompanying [Kid 2], and that my ex would be taking [Kid 1] to her concert. [Kid 1] has been taking it pretty badly that I couldn't be with her tonight. I went to her rehearsal at school on Friday to soften the blow, but still tonight it's bad. Her dad forgot about the concert and she called to remind him and let him know what time to pick her up. She was terribly hurt that he'd forgotten. H offered to go along with her and her dad to help soften things even more. At first, she didn't want to. She knows that her dad wouldn't even allow our car in his driveway if H was in it for the first 7 months we were dating. While it's a little better now, it's still an awkward, tense thing. I had such mixed feelings about him offering, but relief won out as I know it will make things easier for her. That said, he OFTEN puts himself secondary to me and the kids. VERY OFTEN. And while I still have a difficult time adjusting to it (not that I don't like it, I do, but that it's completely contrary to my history of the last 20 years), it is the singular difference in my relationship with their dad that amazes me every single time. It never rings false and I never have to "pay" for it. Sorry. I know I'm going on like a loon, again. But, it touches me in a way that I never imagined possible.
H -
Well...see above. And I want the whole world to know that I adore you. And the girls do, too. You talk about how much your life is improved by being with us, but you left out the very valid point about how much our life is better by being with you. And it is. Every day. I love you.
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