The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Global Warming, Incorporated

Here's the post I've been trying to get up here for like 3-4 days now. After all the hype, I'm sure it will be a disappointment, but it's certainly a good way to change gears. Let's quit thinking about the misery of my divorce and concentrate on the giddiness of Global Warming.

Global Warming, you know, that thing that the GOP says doesn't exist. That they not only don't take precautions to prevent or minimize, but that they don't even take seriously. THAT thing. Kind of like atheists and the whole Virgin Mary, thing. Only, we all die at the end of Global Warming, as opposed to the birth of baby Jesus at the end of the Virgin Mary thing.

As usual, I have already started digressing. I don't have to explain, to my uber-intellectual readership, the dangers associated with the very real threat of Global Warming. Hell, Al Gore has made it his personal mission to undertake the propogation of this 'imaginary threat'. See what kind of agenda we'd have had to put up with if he'd actually been allowed to win in 2000?

What I wanted to share were a few points that were new to me. A couple links that I'd found that made me kinda go, "hmmmmm".

I've wondered, sometimes aloud to the distraction and great annoyance of anyone within earshot, why this administration would be so eager to dismiss a threat that, even if it weren't imminent, could be addressed now to avoid further problems down the road. Mine is not a political mind. Mine is not a scientific mind. Sometimes, though, mine is a cynical mind. And when I saw this link, I started putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 1X+1=4. Well, duh, no WONDER the politicized earth-raping corporate whores don't want to fix the problem, they're working on marketing a product to deal with the aftermath. Hell, keep driving those gas-guzzlers and polluting the air, folks! It's your God-given right as Americans! Those liberal nuts are just making that shit up about what this is doing to the environment! Don't listen to 'em! The sooner it gets here, the better for profits. Hallelujah, Halliburton!

When we move from a two party system to a corporate dictatorship, I have no doubt that Halliburton will be right there to show us the way. Where is the Justice Department and why isn't there some kind of anti-trust investigation swallowing this firm whole?

Following the lead of Al Gore, I must urge all of you, my readers, to do your part by not submitting to a five day work week. That's right. Work three days this week, five the next, four the week after that, then maybe take that next week off entirely. Do your part to protect the environment.

I mean, hey, if it's gotten to the point where even the anti-intellectual Ahnuld can't deny the validity of the situation (even if it's only until he's bagged the re-election), maybe the rest of us should be trying to do what we can to make a difference. Even if that's just saving up to buy our souls back from Halliburton.


Blogger AaA said...

Sorry I haven't replied to this, but there's not much I can add. Preaching to the choir and all that, don'cha know.

It's rather chilling to see that Halliburton thing, and realize that all of those executives at that conference basically heard the speaker say: "We here at Halliburton realize that global warming, aka human-caused climate change, is a very real threat to the world. However, in analyzing this threat, we see that there is more money to be made responding to the disasters it will cause than in trying to avert them, and we're all about the money. Therefore, we're recommending that people who might be able to avert these disasters instead do nothing until they happen, and then bill the survivors for the clean-up and restoration costs."

And all those executives heard this Manifesto of Evil, and nodded enthusiastically. I have to wonder if little cash register dollar signs actually popped up in their eyes during his speech.

Global Warming, Inc? Pfft, that's a tiny subsidiary of Evil, Inc, LLC.

5/22/2006 10:12 AM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Nate -

Makes you wonder if they had some code word to use instead of 'global warming'. You know, like "that bad hot thing". (Hey, we all know it couldn't be anything TOO complicated for that crowd.)

The cash register dollar signs is a nice touch. And I can see it. Not hard when the whole situation is made for cartoon.

5/22/2006 12:06 PM  

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