The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Taking The Good With The Bad

As the adage goes, into every life a little rain must fall, but even as it does it helps the flowers grow. And so, we all take the bad, with the good, and work through the "sad" because we know there will be more "happy". Oh how philosophical I am today.

Not much time for a post today, but wanted to mention a few things going on in my world right now...good and bad.

***

Good Thing...My girls came back from their week with their dad today. The house erupted in chaos almost immediately. Not bad chaos. Just the normalcy of having three kids running around. Honestly, it's bliss. They are just babbling with stories of their friends and plans for the week and shopping they've done since I last saw them. This is the stuff I live for.

Bad Thing...[Kid 3] reports that she got upset with her father over a family photo he had in his room. A picture that has been there for years. Noting that my face was no longer in the picture she had long known to be otherwise, she became rather upset. Feeling, I suppose, that her father was trying to "eliminate" me. I wish he'd just taken the photograph and put it away, rather than make the adjustment that he must have made. She indicated that after crying and talking through it, her father "fixed" the picture. I wouldn't expect that he'd keep pictures of me on display in his home, given our marital status, but certainly things like this are making it clear to his children how much animosity he has for me, which only does MORE damage. The kids try so hard to love him and give him a break. Denegrating the mother they love certainly isn't the way to better his relationship with any of them.

***

Good Thing - I got a cookie bouquet at work on Thursday. One of the 'Hell' spawn (okay, I like these particular people) sent them as a thank you for going above and beyond for them on a few things. Nice folks. See, believe it or not, I'm not the bitch I'm rumored to be...well...not all the time, anyway.

Bad Thing - One of the architect's at work (the one who is staunchly conservative) had a stroke over last weekend. Scary stuff, as he's in remarkably good shape. (Maybe my email to him did it.) He's doing well, and actually came in to work for a half day on Friday, but it added dramatically to my workload last week.

***

Good Thing - Because of having spent so much money (including nearly all of my nest egg) on lawyer fees and doctor bills, I didn't think we were going to be able to afford a vacation this year. As we went to Rochester (and Syracuse) last summer, it wasn't as if it were the end of the world, but it appears that a trip to Florida (probably in early fall) will be possible. We're still paying off some bills, but we've been able to put a little money aside for this. By the time we go, we should be in good shape. The kids are excited about it as well. We plan to stay with Highlander's mum and it will give me (and the girls) the opportunity to meet much more of his family, and them the opportunity to meet us. Hitting the beach will be a good time as well.

Bad Thing - My ex is taking the kids (along with Carmichael and hers) on a summer vacation to Washington, DC this year. [Kid 1] is refusing to go. More fall-out from the damage to his relationship with her. Very, very sad. I've urged her to think about it, as it would be a good place to visit. But, apparently, my ex didn't involve them in the planning for the trip and that has been just one more insult to compound the injury. They are leaving in about three weeks. I hope things are better by then.

***

Good Thing - Lunch on Friday with two girlfriends was nice. I hadn't seen them in several months and it was nice to catch up. They both had to go back to work (I LOVE my Friday afternoons), so we had to cut things entirely too short, but it was great seeing them and hearing what's going on in their worlds. And sharing some of what's going on in mine.

Bad Thing - One friend (the log-roller) has a son (her only child) who is currently on his third tour of duty in Iraq. She hasn't heard from him since Mother's Day. That is, apparently, out of character. The worry was so readily apparent on her face, that we had to completely change the subject so that she wouldn't have a break down in the restaurant.

***

Good Thing - Highlander and I went on a special shopping trip this morning. More news on this in a couple weeks.

Bad Thing - Another new neighbor in our building to break in. This one is an adorable young single girl who I understand is a singer in a Christian band. This isn't a really bad thing. Just, you know, we like having the building to ourselves.

***

Good Thing - A trip to the park to play in the sprinkling fountain was a fun excursion, with all of the children (and I'm including Highlander here) playing in the water. [Kid 3] manipulating the monkey bars as if she were truly simian. Watching the envy of the other children as my scrawny little six-year-old schooled them all.

Bad Thing - We're expecting rain later today that will last the remainder of the weekend. That means that getting my mother's yardwork done and flowerbeds planted won't likely happen tomorrow. We've had to postpone this so many times since Mother's Day. As my folks are out of town this weekend, I'd love to have it done when she gets home tomorrow evening. It would be a wonderful surprise. It just doesn't seem likely to happen. Yet again.

***

And because I want to end on one...

Good Thing - The love of a good man is about the best thing there is. I've been asked to think, recently, about what "makes" a good man. Whether it's material posessions (homes, cars, etc.) or some extraneous standards. Personally, I suppose that's a subjective thing. If what you have makes you a good person...and you lose it...does that mean you are no longer a good person? I don't think so. I think it has to do with who you are to begin with. Your values and morals. The love you give and choose to receive. Putting the needs (and even the wants) of others above your own. Intelligence and creativity and a soul. I'm very lucky to have found someone who fits all of that criteria. In fact...he just got back from taking one of the kids to get some job applications...and picked me up some flowers. Just because he was thinking about me. Just because he wanted to make me smile. This is my life. Every day.

6 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

I like the fact that you ended on a good note. While I don't agree that the love of a good man is THE best thing, it is certainly in the Top 10. Having said that, I would find life so much less if I lost Mark. Less exciting, less fun, and way less fulfilling. Highlander sounds like a class act. I'm glad he makes you happy.

6/11/2006 12:05 PM  
Blogger tribe member said...

Grats on the 'special' shopping trip. It seems like all the couples I know are taking or have taken that step.

Rock on wid yo bad selves!


(AaA)

6/11/2006 4:40 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Lisa -

I don't know. There are a great many things that could make my top ten...holding each of my girls for the first time (especially the last one, as I had to wait so much longer to hold her than the other two) is certainly up there pretty high, too.

I pretty much HAD to end on a good note, as I'm in such a happy place right now. It wouldn't have seemed right to do otherwise. Highlander makes me happy...makes my girls happy (I hear them in the basement playing a game and howling with laughter)...and it's absolutely wonderful. Every day of my life, I have this to look forward to.

Nate -

Thanks for your well wishes. You're a doll and we love you!!

And in a completely unrelated update of sorts, just wanted to note that my luck was running high, as the rain held off until we got the yardwork at my mother's done. Yippee!! She called when she got home and was delighted with how it looked. A nice cap to the weekend.

6/11/2006 6:25 PM  
Blogger MJ Norton said...

Excellent news all around then!

6/11/2006 10:40 PM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

SuperG: belated CONGRATS!! Wonderful news.

We have our ups and downs after so many years together, but I'd still rate my husband as one of the "top ten" that give me joy. I couldn't imagine how empty and sad my life would be without him.

6/12/2006 1:05 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Thanks, Mike! And I won't give you the shit that I know that you know I would normally. Can we just agree to smile a secret smile instead?

Opus -

Highlander and I have had relatively few downs...of course, we're still pretty early into things if we're looking at the long haul. Lots of time to screw that up. I'm kidding. I'm kidding!

Thanks for the congrats, though. Honestly. He's been an extraordinarily bright light in some of my darkest moments. And no candle, he. Totally hallogen...;)

6/12/2006 1:21 PM  

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