The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Monday, June 18, 2007

C'mon Deliver the Letter, the Sooner the Better


I received a few emails, this morning, that (because they were new to me) I wanted to share...hoping to entertain and enlighten, while doing so.

In my usual unabashedly skeptical way, I harumphed when I received an email forward this morning, advising...

Hi, all you animal lovers. This is pretty simple.. Please tell ten
friends to tell ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble
getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of
getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals.

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "fund
food for animals" for free. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their
corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate
food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.

Look for the PURPLE BAR/BUTTON to click on.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.


After reading it, I immediately went to my favorite tool in such cases Snopes.com. I love these people. They do all my work for me. And in this particular case, I was very pleased to find that this email forward is legit. Such a rare occurrence on email forwards, you know?

Sooooo, I decided to post it here. In the hopes that the few of you out there, most all of whom are animal lovers, will help our four-legged friends in need. It really is as simple as clicking on a bar. It's a very easy way to feel good about helping out. We can all use a little of that, huh?

As it turns out, I'd already been to the Snopes site earlier, as I'd received this email:

Dear SuperWife,

Your resume was recently viewed online and I feel that you are qualified for a Site Moderator opening we have within the company. We are one of the most exciting website launches in the last few years, Too Spoiled.

Unlike other entertainment industry sites, Too Spoiled is completely free for Models and Actors to join. We are seeking a Site Moderator to monitor the content of the site and flag and/or remove any inappropriate postings. As a Site Moderator, you would also look to stop any members targeting minors on the site. The position is one that can be done from your home if you have a computer and an online connection.

The compensation package we offer is very competitive, with Site Moderators earning between $42,500 and $52,000 annually. Performance bonuses, medical and dental plans, a 401(k) plan and tuition reimbursement are also offered.

If you are interested in joining Too Spoiled as a Site Moderator, please click on the link below and fill out the online application. If the link doesn’t work, copy and paste the address into your browser to go to the webpage.

After you submit your online application, you can expect me to contact you within one or two business days. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Scamela McScamerson
Too Spoiled


Wow! Work at home?! Making good money with good benefits?! Hmmm, I gotta know MORE!! So, I surfed to their site. And it was kinda sad (LOTS of people wanting to become models and actors), and seemed to have a dating sideline going there, too. But, hey, according to their site (and those things never lie, right?), they have quite a few members. So, clearly they could use a little moderatin'. And, I'm TOTALLY the man for that job.

Except.

(Isn't there always one of those?) When I did a little more digging, I discovered that quite a few folks were getting these emails. And those unwise enough to sign up and give Too Spoiled a great deal of their time, were getting shorted in their pay envelope. Well, that's not fair. The reality is that they weren't getting a pay envelope at all.

Without much effort, I found Better Business Bureau complaints and a pretty substantial number of personal (and some bitter) complaints littered about the internet.

I suppose I'll have to keep slogging along doing my thang in the real world for a while longer, anyway.

But wait!

Yet another opportunity presented itself to me this very morning. Oh, lucky me!!

Hello !

How are you ?

I have an offer to you which you won't be able to refuse. Let's try to work together with eBay. Taking the opportunity I can deliver you goods at the manufacturer's price, and this price is twice less than the price most stores offer. You will sell the goods at eBay, carry on the correspondence with buyers and so on. When there is a client you will inform me his address and I'll send him the goods.
After the payment you take your per cent .I cannot work at the auction 'cause I have lots of work, and I'm short of time to do the correspondence and all that stuff. But you can get extra earnings. The number of goods is not limited. You can sell one item per week or twenty, it's up to you. You should remember that you can get both extra earnings and plenty of positive feedbacks at eBay as the goods will be delivered quickly, and the client will be satisfied. Since you have feedbacks at eBay why can't you put up for sale an ipod or camera, etc. every day?
The duration of the action will be three days and at the end you will send me the address of the buyer (delivery time is 5-7 days). I'll ship item and will give you tracking number.
You give me my share (after delivering) and the rest you can have for yourself ( for example 250 for Garmin Street Pilot c340 GPS Receiver:

It's easier and more
beneficial. Why not try it? And if you like the idea we can put up for sale several products a day. We can do test for 3 Garmins.

The scheme I'm offering has more advantages than the one we've been using:

- No matter how many goods we put up for sale
They'll be sold, and you'll get your share.

- The delivery will be fast as every
address is be new. It's much better as there is a limit of goods for every address. So it's easier to work with new addresses.

- You'll get lots of feedbacks since your
buyers will be satisfied.

- It's more convenient for both of us. I know
the goods which will be sold in three days and don't have to look for them everywhere. It's more difficult with some rare product when you present me with a fait accompli.

Don't be hasty rejecting my offer. Everyone needs extra money. We can do good deal! You'll be satisfy!
We'll be happy!

Thank you and looking forward to hearing from you!


Lotta Schitt

Pls Just Send Me Your Reply at --- wholelottaschittebay@gmail.com


Lemme see if I understand this right. I'm putting my ebay reputation on the line for a total stranger, in a "scheme" (her word, not mine) whereby I have no control of the product condition or veracity, nor of the shipping/delivery of the goods. Yeah, THAT sounds like it'll work.

Sheesh!

And, is it me, or does it come across pretty hinky that Lotta uses terms like "fait accompli", and then, in the next paragraph, says "We can do good deal!"

"Rife with Peril" seems to be underscored here. So much so, in fact, that a trip to Snopes wasn't even necessary.

Ah, well, back to deleting the unknowns, I guess...

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