The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

What's Your Sign?

What is it about pick up lines? Have they ever worked anywhere? Bunnyman has a theory that they work just fine on a person who wants to have sex with you, but not so well on one that doesn't. Yet, there seems to be an inexhaustible supply of them. And, Boy, have they come a long way since I was barhopping.

Generally speaking, they make me laugh in a "Who the hell would EVER fall for that crap" kinda way. Anywho, thought I'd share this collection of outrageous pick-up lines with you.

Some of the ones that made me laugh, wince or groan (I refuse to elaborate on which are in which category) are:

"Hey baby, wanna go halfsies on a bastard child?"

"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?"

"awh man, I just pooped my pants a little... you're not into that? are you?"

"What does this choloroform smell like to you?"

"You must be a parking ticket... Cuz, you have FINE written all over you"

"Hey, looks like you're drunk. Do you want to have sexual intercourse with me?"

"What has 138 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper."

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?"

Hope I'm not the only one smirking.


Blogger Lisa said...

I was always fond of Groucho Marx's "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" line. A classic.

6/08/2007 10:52 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

The one for use on a woman holding a baby is choice:

"So. I see you like to fuck..."

6/11/2007 7:34 AM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Lisa -

Yep, that one's a classic, all right. It's on their list.

Nate -

That one had both Highlander and I laughing aloud. I suppose it would work with an obviously pregnant woman, too...;)

6/11/2007 10:26 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

Oh HELLL NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! You're not getting me with that one. The surest route to hell is misguessing a pregnancy.

6/12/2007 5:57 PM  

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