The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Cheney's Got a Gun


I saw this "Visual Hunting Aid" yesterday. At first glance, I got a little chuckle. But, now I'm just queasy. I've got about a million links I want to share on this, but the more I look, the queasier I get about it. And the fact that the White House is doing nothing to come across with some Pepto Bismol really is pissing me off.

By now, if you're breathing, are not comatose, and have made it to any electronic communications device in the free world since Sunday, you are aware that Vice-President Dick Cheney was involved in a hunting accident in which he is believed to have shot a fellow hunter. If, you've been camping in the wilderness and this blog is the first thing you've checked since you've been back...well, first I'm flattered, but...here's a link to the news story that may help bring you up to speed.

You know that insurance commercial where the celebrity goes into the coffee shop and thanks the clerk for the “special” extra…just because he’s a celebrity. And she tells him that’s how everyone gets it and he gives her the wink and says “suuuure it is”? Don’t you wish that it was true? That famous people got the same deal everyone else does? That store policies and laws were not just for some people, but for ALL the people?

That Barney’s would eagerly open their doors for me if I wanted to roll into their establishment sometime for a little 2AM shopping spree. Kinda like they do for J-Lo.

You think Elvis was in the same army everyone else was in 1958? Oh, I don’t think so. Elvis don’t peel no potatoes, Baby.

That if Russell Crowe or Nick Nolte or Diana Ross were driving drunk, some highly trained law enforcement official would do the job they are paid to do and haul the offender off to the pokey like they deserve. Oh, wait. They did.

Perhaps I should be labelled a commie, but I think these things should be universal. That we don’t make exceptions for people just because they (or some faction) think they are more important...somehow, more valuable…than someone else. I mean, hell, do teachers and heart surgeons get these perks? ‘Cause I’m thinking they’re a whole lot more important than singers, actors or even politicians, in my book. Oh, wait, we don't get to vote on that either, do we?

Now, do you think anyone did a blood alcohol test on Cheney when he SHOT A MAN IN THE FACE WITH HIS OVERPRICED BB GUN? Let alone finger-print the bastard or lock him up? Oh, hell no. I have to wonder if the local police were even called. My guess is that they rushed Dick back to the compound to start the damage control meetings. And then, they probably started digging the hole to bury the body in the backyard of the whitehouse and hiding Cheney's toys.

Is it too much to want the leaders of our country to live by the same standards that are set for everyone they govern? If you or I (well, it wouldn't be "I", because I wouldn't be hunting) were involved in a hunting accident, you think we could just say "oops, my bad...gotta get back to the important business of...." whatever business it is we do, that'd be enough? Do we want it to be enough?

What happens if his hunting partner dies? He's already had a heart attack due to one of the pellets travelling to his heart. Given his age and current condition, it's unlikely they are going to try to remove the other dozens of pellets that are lodged in his chest. So, you know, it might happen again. And, if it kills him next time. Where do things go then? Manslaughter? Yeah...I don't think so. But it should. It would for anyone else in this country. Well, except pro football players.

Of course, the White House doesn't take this man's life any more seriously than they're taking the lives of the young men they're sending to Iraq every day. So, what should we expect, huh? When you're gods, the sheep are only here to serve and amuse you. Certainly, you wouldn't answer to them.

And, after all, guns don't kill people. People kill people. Right? Every time.

3 Comments:

Blogger Your Girl Friday said...

Ha! Funny, but why quesy?

We haven't heard too much about it all the way down under... but I suppose its scandalous front page material over there?!

2/15/2006 8:16 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Pretty scandalous, indeed.

Queasy, because at the end of the day, there's a man lying in a hospital bed because of the dangerous incompetence of one of this country's leaders and no one really wants to discuss it...except the comedians.

To add to the list, here are a couple more things that have come my way since posting this...

Things like a fake CNN news story generator where you can put in someone else's name (my inclination was Bush...but that wouldn't be so good either...)and the shooting story changes.

And pages of Cheney shooting jokes.

And Letterman's Top 10 Dick Cheney Excuses...

10. "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm"

9. "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page"

8. "Not enough Jim Beam"

7. "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu"

6. "I love to shoot people"

5. "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter"

4. "I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me"

3. "Excuse? I hit him, didn't I?"

2. "Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly"

1. "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife"

2/16/2006 8:33 AM  
Blogger Mike Norton said...

The point on special priviledge is well-taken. It's all part of the mystique of money and power.

The thing that's come to bother me most about the shooting story, though, is that since this is something they know they can manage - the victim's getting the best possible care, no mention of the heart attack is made without the word "minor" ahead of it, and the incident is already fading - while in the meantime, since the public mind appears too tiny to hold more than one Cheney story at a time, reports from behind the scenes that Libby's fingered Cheney as the one who told him to leak Valerie Plame's status is going largely unreported.

2/17/2006 7:00 AM  

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