Ti-i-i-ime, Is On Our Side
Yes it is...
Timing really is everything, you know.
Highlander and I were recently discussing how we seem to be such a perfect fit. We seem to be not only in the same place, at the same time, but even in the same groove within that same place. It makes me realize what a lucky stroke it was. It makes me wish we'd had more time together.
I'll take "older time" together, but a little "younger time" would have been nice, too. Though if you start rolling the clock back, it's hard to decide exactly where you'd stop it. In our teens? Our early twenties? Mid-thirties?
The Beatles did a song, called "In My Life". About how the things and people that have come in your life make you who you are. All of those events and life lessons shaping you, building character, scarring the soul, all along the way to the wonder that you are now. Undeniable in it's simplicity. But, sometimes, it's those indisputable facts that are the hardest to swallow. But not for me. Not anymore.
Thinking about rolling the clock all the way back to college. Spending a virtual lifetime together. Sounds good, and yet...
It's when he was hanging with his friends. Crushing on a couple different girls. Strong in his convictions. It would never have worked then. (Mostly because he was crushing on a couple different girls, I'd imagine.) But also because I wasn't someone he'd have given a second look. At that time, I was in pretty serious party girl mode. Trying hard to live up to the college ideal I'd always read about. Hard to imagine that, at that point, we'd have even been able to pull off a friendship at any level, let alone romance. Plus...if things had been different, I wouldn't have my girls. And I can't imagine my life without them. They are so much a part of me.
I think both of us had some living to do first. Getting us to the point where we could not only appreciate what each of us had to offer the other, but also getting us to a point where we had something worthwhile to be offering in the first place. And while it did at the time, I don't think it hurt for us both to get a few broken hearts under our belt, too.
Of course, it's always about being ready to let someone into your heart. Odd that we'd both pretty well given up that hope...but for different reasons. We liked each other well enough. Respected each other. We had nothing to lose, I guess. So we opted to give "dating" a try.
It became evident, so very quickly, that we were so in synch with each other. Much more than I could have ever imagined. It's as if we read each other's minds sometimes. I anticipate his wants and needs and he does the same for me. If I forget something, he has already remembered it and taken care of it. And vice versa. If I'm sad he knows it. And acts on it. Now, that is not to say it's every single time, but the percentage is quite, quite high.
You watch movies about characters that have this kind of relationship. Or read books. At least I do. And you think it's sweet. But it's not real. Real people don't do that stuff. At least, I've never really known a couple like that. But, oh my god, they do exist. They really do. And sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming it.
Odd to think that I could have missed this entirely had we found each other years earlier. And given that we were born and raised in the same state, less than 100 miles from each other...that I had family living in Syracuse during the same time he lived there...that the headquarters for the last company that employed him in Florida is less than a 5 minute drive from my office...it just seems like there may have been at least the opportunity for a chance encounter before we were ready.
And with so many hurdles between us...me, a divorcee with a troublesome ex and three kids living 850 miles away...I still can't believe it even got started sometimes.
I guess my answer is the why. Why it worked, despite the hurdles and all the other stuff. Because it was time. The right time. For both of us. It was the now time. And the forever time. And so what if we can't back it up and have had more time together. What we will have will be absolutely magical.
And I swear this post has absolutely NOTHING to do with the GORGEOUS bouquet of pink (my favorite color!!!) flowers he sent to me at work yesterday. Cross my heart...;) But I did love it!
Timing really is everything, you know.
Highlander and I were recently discussing how we seem to be such a perfect fit. We seem to be not only in the same place, at the same time, but even in the same groove within that same place. It makes me realize what a lucky stroke it was. It makes me wish we'd had more time together.
I'll take "older time" together, but a little "younger time" would have been nice, too. Though if you start rolling the clock back, it's hard to decide exactly where you'd stop it. In our teens? Our early twenties? Mid-thirties?
The Beatles did a song, called "In My Life". About how the things and people that have come in your life make you who you are. All of those events and life lessons shaping you, building character, scarring the soul, all along the way to the wonder that you are now. Undeniable in it's simplicity. But, sometimes, it's those indisputable facts that are the hardest to swallow. But not for me. Not anymore.
Thinking about rolling the clock all the way back to college. Spending a virtual lifetime together. Sounds good, and yet...
It's when he was hanging with his friends. Crushing on a couple different girls. Strong in his convictions. It would never have worked then. (Mostly because he was crushing on a couple different girls, I'd imagine.) But also because I wasn't someone he'd have given a second look. At that time, I was in pretty serious party girl mode. Trying hard to live up to the college ideal I'd always read about. Hard to imagine that, at that point, we'd have even been able to pull off a friendship at any level, let alone romance. Plus...if things had been different, I wouldn't have my girls. And I can't imagine my life without them. They are so much a part of me.
I think both of us had some living to do first. Getting us to the point where we could not only appreciate what each of us had to offer the other, but also getting us to a point where we had something worthwhile to be offering in the first place. And while it did at the time, I don't think it hurt for us both to get a few broken hearts under our belt, too.
Of course, it's always about being ready to let someone into your heart. Odd that we'd both pretty well given up that hope...but for different reasons. We liked each other well enough. Respected each other. We had nothing to lose, I guess. So we opted to give "dating" a try.
It became evident, so very quickly, that we were so in synch with each other. Much more than I could have ever imagined. It's as if we read each other's minds sometimes. I anticipate his wants and needs and he does the same for me. If I forget something, he has already remembered it and taken care of it. And vice versa. If I'm sad he knows it. And acts on it. Now, that is not to say it's every single time, but the percentage is quite, quite high.
You watch movies about characters that have this kind of relationship. Or read books. At least I do. And you think it's sweet. But it's not real. Real people don't do that stuff. At least, I've never really known a couple like that. But, oh my god, they do exist. They really do. And sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming it.
Odd to think that I could have missed this entirely had we found each other years earlier. And given that we were born and raised in the same state, less than 100 miles from each other...that I had family living in Syracuse during the same time he lived there...that the headquarters for the last company that employed him in Florida is less than a 5 minute drive from my office...it just seems like there may have been at least the opportunity for a chance encounter before we were ready.
And with so many hurdles between us...me, a divorcee with a troublesome ex and three kids living 850 miles away...I still can't believe it even got started sometimes.
I guess my answer is the why. Why it worked, despite the hurdles and all the other stuff. Because it was time. The right time. For both of us. It was the now time. And the forever time. And so what if we can't back it up and have had more time together. What we will have will be absolutely magical.
And I swear this post has absolutely NOTHING to do with the GORGEOUS bouquet of pink (my favorite color!!!) flowers he sent to me at work yesterday. Cross my heart...;) But I did love it!
posted by SuperWife | 8:49 AM
5 Comments:
Okay, well, all the guys in the audience are going to be too busy upchucking to comment, but, still, here's the traditional Opening Comment.
The ribbon is cut, the flag is waved, the gun is fired. All other commenters, get it in gear.
Oh, and I love you, baby.
Huuh!
Huuuuuuuuuuuh!
Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrggghhhh!
Ugh, someone pour me a shot, gotta kill this taste.
Seriously, I can't think of two people who deserve what you've found more.
Freaky, G. I posted a similar blog topic this AM, and I hadn't even read yours yet! Maybe revisiting those forks in the road is just radiating through the collective unconscious or something right now.
I absolutely believe there's a reason for everything, and a reason certain people cross your path at certain times. And you and Highlander finally were ready to meet. (see, girls like me were just breaking him in for you!)
It's funny, our parents tell us that I met my husband when I was two and he was three, and again when I was twelve and he was eleven, but I don't remember either of these meetings. It wasn't until we were both in our mid-twenties when we actually "met," and I felt this instantaneous link between us.
Everyone has their time. And I'm happy the two of you have yours. Enjoy.
H -
You know how I hate it when you're right. But sometimes, I just have to get these things off my chest. Someday, I'll learn to listen to you more about this stuff. Of course, we'll be in our nineties and you'll be cautioning me about entirely other stuff. "Don't do that or you'll fall and break your hip, Baby." I hear it already...
And, of course, you love me. What else could you do? But, I love you right back.
Nate -
I appreciate you reminding me that H and I deserve what we got. I think that's a good thing...;)
And as for that drinking a shot and killing the taste in your mouth...well...if I were a meaner person, I'd say that reminds me of a joke and that, perhaps, you had some experience with that. But I didn't. And I won't.
Opus -
While you were breaking him in for me, couldn't you have spent a little more time on teaching him to put the toilet seat down? Really. Do a girl a favor, will ya?...;) More seriously, though, it's very true that his previous relationships and the women that came before me helped him to become the man I adore. Just as my ex's bevy of fuck buddies owe me a debt of gratitude. Even though he still has some work to do, he wouldn't be half the man he is today but not for my influence.
And somehow, re-reading your comment doesn't seem to help me with the math. When you were two, your husband was 3. And then, when you were twelve, he was eleven? Is there time travel involved here? Or was he frozen for a year or something? I'm confused...;)
Sorry, SuperG,
I was having an attack of brain freeze yesterday on the math. Husband is a year younger than me, and all corresponding references should reflect that.
Sorry, couldn't do anything about that toilet thing...some things are just un-trainable. ;) But the two wisest things my father ever told me about men were: 1) they aren't worth a damn under twenty-five; and 2) woman civilize men.
Heck, my father acted like a pasha around the house when I was a child. He also wore plaid pants. His second wife threw out the plaid pants, and now has him emptying the dishwasher and doing the cooking. And he's 73.
So it can be done!
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