There are 12,843 Earths... and none of them are real
Nate has inspired me, by way of his current blog entry, to take a look back over my own life and the various twists and turns I took. A little time to analyze what would have (or could have) happened had I made the other choice at various intersections. Where that Tammy would be right now. So, without further ado, here is what I believe the five other Tammy's would be doing each oblivous to the other in their own little alternate universes...
1) Still married, but very numb. Loving and supporting (financially and emotionally) a man for whom I had lost all respect and raising our children while I worked full-time. Cleaning my old house and cooking dinner and helping the kids with homework, while he got high and reminded me how worthless I am.
2) Dealing with the unimaginable grief (and guilt) of losing a child, most likely heavily medicated as a resident of Central State Psychiatric Hospital.
3) Living the life of the never-married hippie high school teacher in upstate New York. Setting up a table at the farmer's markets selling astrological charts and fresh herbs alongside a VW van every summer.
4) Dead. My ashes sprinkled amongst the trees at Standing Stone State Park in north central Tennessee. Preferably in the area of one of the most beautiful little woodland waterfalls I've ever seen.
5) Working in Chicago conducting behavioral research and doing my part to change the world.
Well...okay, the alternate universe Nates may not have all been the products of turns in the road for him. But that's the way I wanted to look at it. Lucky for me, Supergirlfriend is right where she wants to be.
1) Still married, but very numb. Loving and supporting (financially and emotionally) a man for whom I had lost all respect and raising our children while I worked full-time. Cleaning my old house and cooking dinner and helping the kids with homework, while he got high and reminded me how worthless I am.
2) Dealing with the unimaginable grief (and guilt) of losing a child, most likely heavily medicated as a resident of Central State Psychiatric Hospital.
3) Living the life of the never-married hippie high school teacher in upstate New York. Setting up a table at the farmer's markets selling astrological charts and fresh herbs alongside a VW van every summer.
4) Dead. My ashes sprinkled amongst the trees at Standing Stone State Park in north central Tennessee. Preferably in the area of one of the most beautiful little woodland waterfalls I've ever seen.
5) Working in Chicago conducting behavioral research and doing my part to change the world.
Well...okay, the alternate universe Nates may not have all been the products of turns in the road for him. But that's the way I wanted to look at it. Lucky for me, Supergirlfriend is right where she wants to be.
posted by SuperWife | 9:36 PM
2 Comments:
Just be careful playing this game.
Some memories and choices and events have too profound an impact, and thinking about what might have been, what might have gone 'right' or 'wrong', can drive you mad.
Just remember that when it comes to the past, there is no 'right' or 'wrong', only what was.
And I don't know why, but I can't get more Oral Report... So I've no idea what the other five random SGFs are doing.
I think it was just a blogger thing, Nate, as I can get the rest of it this morning. I know what you mean about being careful re-examining one's past though. I had a few other alternate realities that I didn't feel comfortable posting. But, honestly, all of the choices I made led me here, so I have no regrets at all.
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