Dead Presidents

Well, it's President's Day. No mail. No school. No work. Oh, wait, that's because I took a vacation day. But still, a happening holiday nonetheless. Eat a little cherry pie. Wear a funny hat. Play those funny games with the lying and cheating and backstabbing. What do you mean you don't celebrate it "quite that way"? Huh. Must just be me, I guess. You probably watch DAVE and play lincoln logs. That is so 'I love the 90's'.

I'm a smidge cynical when it comes to politicians. I generally like mine liberal. Or at least liberally basted on a spit. It was sometime around Nixon's tenure that I came to believe that, despite his infamous denial, he was a crook. And so were just about everybody else in politics. I've felt differently about a few people. But, by and large, it's my contention that it's no coincidence that lawyers make the best politicians (and bait, for that matter), lying scum is what it takes to get voted into office. And what does that say about us? That we believe politics is such a horrific job that we won't do it and we're willing to let the lying scum have at it to keep us from having to do it.

And so, in honor of this solemn day, commemorating all of the wonderful contributions made by the men who have led this country nigh these 230 years, here are a few things I wanted to share.

This article is about the ten worst blunders made by U.S. presidents. I've looked through the list more than once. Somehow Dubya is not on it. Hard to believe that. Maybe there was a cut off date or something. And here are some presidential scandals. Just so's you'll remember to look both ways. Graft crosses both sides of the aisle.

Sometimes, the only good president is a dead president. And while we're talking about them (and we must remember that Supergirlfriend has just a little morbid streak), did you ever wonder how the presidents died? That list seems to be a little outdated though. As Ronnie Reagan wasn't on it. Of course, that could just be because everyone knows that Nancy shoved a couple jellybellies up his nose and smothered him with Saddam Hussein's woolly beard.

While it's a little late to start making plans, I encourage you to take a moment and think about the men we, as a group, have elected to lead us, over the past many years. Think about the qualifications that we have found compelling. Think about our taste in character.

We suck. We shouldn't be allowed to do this.

But I suppose if we can't even pick out someone to spend our lives with after months or years of "up close and personal", why in the world do we think we are competent to pick a stranger to run our country??? (Hey! Maybe Monica Lewinsky was simply trying to make a more informed decision.)

So, give a little cheer for your favorite president today. Hard choice. I know. Mine's Jed Bartlett.