Frazzle Dazzle
Today, I'm having a rough day.
::CAUTION MAJOR VENTING NEXT THREE EXITS::
Have I mentioned lately that Highlander is wonderful? I don't think I have. Well, he is. And I'd be far worse off right now, if not for him. I couldn't love him more if I tried. And I mean that.
I'm swimming upstream in a stress-pool. And I'm tired. So very tired.
This is not a plea for sympathy, I just need to get it out. And, well, you people are always hanging around anyway.
Work is day after day of people piling stuff on and I'm getting ready to blow up at my boss. Not the first time. And after asking me to lunch today, I'm thinking he sees it coming and is trying (in his completely incompetent fashion) to head it off. Fix some of the problems. Take some of this workload off of me. Make some decisions that will make my life easier. Give me a raise!!! Any of these are preferable to spending lunch with you. Nothing personal.
A layer above is a couple of car things that need to be done. I have a headlight out and need to get it replaced. I went to the auto parts store and picked up the one I was told was the right one. I tried to remove the defective one, to no avail. Had a neighbor remove the defective one (after much effort and a few cuts on his hand), but the new one is apparently, not the correct bulb. So, it's back to the parts store (after work today) to get the correct one. Said neighbor said he will be home this evening and will help me with it, but won't be home the rest of the week (and weekend). So, it's got to get done today.
Just ahead of that is my upcoming medical stuff. I have to go on Friday to get a pregnancy test, along with some other bloodwork. Basically, they want to make sure that Highlander hasn't knocked me up, before they julienne (and then deepfry) my innards. Thoughtful of them. Let's just say that it's a wasted trip, as I have indisputal proof (today, even) that would allow us to mark that off the list. So, sorry Highlander. That was your last chance.
Next week, I go under the knife and I'm a little scared about it. Maybe more than a little. And my medical insurance, in all it's abundant compassion, is allowing me to pay a pretty hefty chunk of the cost of this little adventure in pain myself. And that, even moreso than the procedure itself, is stressing me.
Top layer is the upcoming custody issues. The judge has ordered my ex and I to mediation, and that's scheduled for next week, also. The day after my surgery. That should be interesting. I could postpone this. But my girls need me and I'm not gonna let the system slow this down any more than I have to. And, again, more unnecessary money spent to pay for attorneys and mediators.
It bothers me that I'm spending all of my (and Highlander's) available cash flow on these things. Not that they aren't important things. But, that I feel tremendously guilty getting us in so deep. I keep looking at it as getting ME in so deep, and also keep getting (less and less gently...;) corrected. Being told that our happiness and wellbeing is worth whatever it costs helps.
The added stress of knowing that my girls are stressing and counting on me to help them adds to this, too.
Sometime late next week, after the mediation, after the surgery, when I'm off work for several days, and taking enough pain medication to keep me from thinking about any of this, the stress should ease up a little. All that will be left are some pretty hefty bills to pay, whatever will come next with the custody issue (and I suppose I'll know more, and therefore be in more control, after the mediation), the car will be done, and work will be work. Hey, some of this stuff I can't control.
But today...and probably the next several days...are going to be pretty intense for me. I've already thrown something together to post on Flashback Friday, but if, other than that, you don't see me around much, you'll know I'm over here trying to get through the shitstorm. But rest assured, I've got Prince Charming holding my umbrella.
That's it. I'm done. Thanks for listening. Anybody got a tissue?
::CAUTION MAJOR VENTING NEXT THREE EXITS::
Have I mentioned lately that Highlander is wonderful? I don't think I have. Well, he is. And I'd be far worse off right now, if not for him. I couldn't love him more if I tried. And I mean that.
I'm swimming upstream in a stress-pool. And I'm tired. So very tired.
This is not a plea for sympathy, I just need to get it out. And, well, you people are always hanging around anyway.
Work is day after day of people piling stuff on and I'm getting ready to blow up at my boss. Not the first time. And after asking me to lunch today, I'm thinking he sees it coming and is trying (in his completely incompetent fashion) to head it off. Fix some of the problems. Take some of this workload off of me. Make some decisions that will make my life easier. Give me a raise!!! Any of these are preferable to spending lunch with you. Nothing personal.
A layer above is a couple of car things that need to be done. I have a headlight out and need to get it replaced. I went to the auto parts store and picked up the one I was told was the right one. I tried to remove the defective one, to no avail. Had a neighbor remove the defective one (after much effort and a few cuts on his hand), but the new one is apparently, not the correct bulb. So, it's back to the parts store (after work today) to get the correct one. Said neighbor said he will be home this evening and will help me with it, but won't be home the rest of the week (and weekend). So, it's got to get done today.
Just ahead of that is my upcoming medical stuff. I have to go on Friday to get a pregnancy test, along with some other bloodwork. Basically, they want to make sure that Highlander hasn't knocked me up, before they julienne (and then deepfry) my innards. Thoughtful of them. Let's just say that it's a wasted trip, as I have indisputal proof (today, even) that would allow us to mark that off the list. So, sorry Highlander. That was your last chance.
Next week, I go under the knife and I'm a little scared about it. Maybe more than a little. And my medical insurance, in all it's abundant compassion, is allowing me to pay a pretty hefty chunk of the cost of this little adventure in pain myself. And that, even moreso than the procedure itself, is stressing me.
Top layer is the upcoming custody issues. The judge has ordered my ex and I to mediation, and that's scheduled for next week, also. The day after my surgery. That should be interesting. I could postpone this. But my girls need me and I'm not gonna let the system slow this down any more than I have to. And, again, more unnecessary money spent to pay for attorneys and mediators.
It bothers me that I'm spending all of my (and Highlander's) available cash flow on these things. Not that they aren't important things. But, that I feel tremendously guilty getting us in so deep. I keep looking at it as getting ME in so deep, and also keep getting (less and less gently...;) corrected. Being told that our happiness and wellbeing is worth whatever it costs helps.
The added stress of knowing that my girls are stressing and counting on me to help them adds to this, too.
Sometime late next week, after the mediation, after the surgery, when I'm off work for several days, and taking enough pain medication to keep me from thinking about any of this, the stress should ease up a little. All that will be left are some pretty hefty bills to pay, whatever will come next with the custody issue (and I suppose I'll know more, and therefore be in more control, after the mediation), the car will be done, and work will be work. Hey, some of this stuff I can't control.
But today...and probably the next several days...are going to be pretty intense for me. I've already thrown something together to post on Flashback Friday, but if, other than that, you don't see me around much, you'll know I'm over here trying to get through the shitstorm. But rest assured, I've got Prince Charming holding my umbrella.
That's it. I'm done. Thanks for listening. Anybody got a tissue?
posted by SuperWife | 12:36 PM
9 Comments:
I just wanted you to know that we are all sending waves of positive energy your direction...OHHHHHHM.
And remember, it's better to be swimming in a stress-pool rather than a cess-pool.
*saying prayers for you!!*
I hope you get time to relax soon!
SGF:
Look on the bright side: all your troubles are ganging up on you now, yes, but most of them are simply acute flare-ups that will recede very soon, and some will go away entirely. Once they blow their load, they got nuthin left.
AND you've got Highlander in your corner, none of the sources of your troubles can say that. Face it, your troubles are doomed. DOOMED, I say!!
I got a crate of tissues. I'll share with you.
Positive cyber-energy in this comment..............
Goodness. That a lot for one person to deal with at one time--and I hate when folks say you won't get more than you can handle, but it's usually true. Hang in there, I'll send some energy, calm and peace your way over the next couple of days.
Well it sounds like you have a ton of stuff going on all at once. Work stuff can be such a pain but the custody-related stuff sounds even worse. But it is great you have someone to depend on through all of this. And getting to vent on your blog--I hope that helps too.
I am looking forward to your Flashback Friday. I've got my Fab Five Friday in the works too!
L.C.
So much to deal with, and all at once... the best thing to be said is that it's looking more and more like one mutha of a Kidney Stone of Life to pass. With luck it'll mean a great blur of discomfort followed by much relief.
That the medical insurance isn't covering things is ridiculous. It's criminal enough that we aren't covered simply as citizens, but when one's been working for a company for years..? Augh.
But, hey, there's nothing more relaxing and sure to set the world to rights than lunch out with the boss, eh?
While I can hardly claim first person experience with the medical procedure, but I can offer a close second and word from someone who went through it last year: It's a great move. My wife's only regret is that she didn't go for the procedure years sooner.
Chin up. We're all rooting for you.
Those issues are a lot to deal with, even separately. While you might feel the pressure, know that you're not alone. You've got your kids, you've got your supportive man and you've got us out here wishing and hoping and praying you'll come through it all just fine. And we KNOW you will. So there!
– Texas T-bone
http://tbone.redeaglespirit.com
I feel for you sweetie. Thats a whole lot of stress on your plate! I have faith that you are a strong kick-ass babe - and with your gorgeous girls and Highlander on your side, you can get through anything!
A little side note: Everytime I visit your blog, you make me smile... I think I speak for everyone. So I hope this has made you smile too!
xxxxooooxxxxoooo
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