The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Gimme a Head With Hair

Okay, somewhere down there in a comment thread (it shouldn't be hard to find, they're pretty sparse these days), my dear friend AaA, made mention...sort of...of an upcoming charity fundraiser in which he's involved.

Part of me deeply admires him for his sacrifices to help children (of which, I'd like to note, this is only one on a long list), and so, I'll be sending a little something (far too little something, I'm afraid), to help out this cause. Also, I like kiddies, too, so that makes it easy to be supportive.

Now that part of me is easy to deal with. The other part of me. The Martha Stewart on crack that is trying to pull together a budget wedding that doesn't look like a budget wedding in the next couple of weeks (preferably without killing anyone in the process), ran from the computer to the bedroom this morning and shook Highlander awake. All the while shouting at him, "Do you know what YOUR friend is doing? DO YOU? And just DAYS before our wedding!!!"

He cautiously stuck his head out of the covers and said, "Wha...", and rubbed his little eyes (which, I gotta tell you is the most adorable thing, but this morning it was getting no play from me). I began thrashing him and screaming, "WAKE UP!!! WE'RE HAVING A CRISIS!!! HE IS TOTALLY GOING TO RUIN MY WEDDING PICTURES!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!?!?!" My head may have been slowly rotating on my neck by this point. I can't remember for sure.

Still not quite awake, I got a "Who are you talking about? And what did they do?". Worse, he was all calm, like it wasn't the apocalypse or anything. Can you believe it???

Incensed, I started spilling, and as I was saying it aloud, I began to realize that I sounded like THE most selfish bitch in the world. And I didn't like that very much. After all, it's not as if he's doing something just to drive me insane (that's just a bonus for him), he's doing something very UN-selfish, to help some kids. And, as I said, I love kids. It sucks when you shame yourself. At 6:30 in the morning, even.

So, I figured the least I can do (to redeem myself for my behavior earlier today) is to throw a few bucks his way, and maybe a few leads. Consequently, if you have a few extra bucks, and can spare them for a good cause (and it is), put them towards having our dear friend, and frequent reader/commenter, Nate, go for the egghead look (I won't even START on how he's got a halfway decent jump on it. I promise.). Plus, if you do help him achieve that WAY hot hairless look (can you say Sottle?), it'll make my wedding pictures totally unique. And that's a good thing. Right?


Blogger AaA said...

Uh, oops.

Sorry Highlander. Didn't realize it would cause fireworks...

And 'DAYS'? Please... the shave is on the 25th, the wedding is on the 21st, that's like 3 weeks and some change. And I are a hairy beast. You won't even know it happened...

...unless they take my eyebrows. I have no idea how long it takes to regrow those...

...but what are the odds of raising $440 in two days?

And the only reason I decided to do it was because I was sure the hair would grow back by then. I never would have if I thought your wedding photos were in serious jeopardy.

3/23/2007 3:51 PM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

Hey, bald guys are hot. If you've got the head for it. Think Patrick Stewart, Telly Savalas, Husband...hey, but you could always have the guys wear top hats...

3/25/2007 5:44 PM  
Blogger AaA said...

My eyebrows are safe and securely attached to my head. You may resume respiration now.

(Never, in my life, did it ever occur to me that I would be disappointed to announce the retention of my eyebrows, but, alas, here I am.)

3/25/2007 11:38 PM  

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