The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Friday, August 03, 2007

All About the Honor

Not a Flashback Friday! (though my mind has been working it's way there recently), but recommendations from a couple of you to get this outta my system here haven't fallen on deaf ears. If nothing else, it's closure for me. And, hey, that's just one of the many things that these here blogs are for, right? Let's away, shall we?

My parents both came from families that had their problems. My maternal grandmother (who is likely one of the most generous and real human beings I have ever met in my life) had a penchant for bad boys. It made her life more difficult than it needed to be. But she was who she was. She owned it. And she did so without ever letting go of who she was. And that “who she was” was a pretty remarkable woman.

My Dad’s family wasn’t without problems. As the oldest of nine children, my dad watched (and sometimes became involved) in sibling disputes that have spanned decades. It’s all about the “honor” with these guys.

Factored in there, somewhere, there's all kinds of random stuff, too. Apparently, I got the mixed bag.

I like who I am…most of the time, anyway…and I cling to it. And personal integrity is something I value not only in myself, but in everyone around me. Nothing would please me more than to see my daughters grow to womanhood seeing the value of those lessons. Lessons like the importance of doing the right thing (even if it’s not the easy thing or the best thing for you). Lessons like being trustworthy. Lessons like bringing out the “shovel” (a reference only my beloved will get) only after you’ve exhausted all other options. Lessons like earning respect by having character.

Not everyone lives their life with personal integrity. It’s simply not important to some people (which I find most ironic in people who claim to live their lives in response to biblical teachings). I totally get that. Me? I choose not to spend time with people I cannot trust. It’s not that I feel morally superior (though that may be more of a factor than I’d like to admit), it’s just that I feel I’m wasting my time on people I will be unable to respect. And I would much rather spend my finite time on this plain with people I can and do respect.

Now, none of that is to say that I do not have the capacity to forgive and forget. I do. (I gotta believe that 20 years with my ex will give me some cred in that department.) But, like with my ex, I’m not gonna keep turning the other cheek indefinitely. Lying and disrespecting me over and over and over is gonna turn those bridges to cinders. And being in construction, I can tell you that we rarely, if ever, use cinders as building materials. Cinders simply cannot be rebuilt once it gets to that point. It’s best to move on to a new site, and start from scratch.

I say all of this, because of recent events I feel obligated to share. Buckle up.

The end of this past June, I received the following email from the woman my ex broke up with some months prior.

Hi “T”...
I just read your post today. I am sorry about all your money struggles. I am having the same problem with my ex-husband and most likely will have to take him to court to get it all worked out. [2] and [3] are both great girls and I would hate to see them not get the dental work that they need. We are experiencing something like that here, only in the vision department.

Anyway, it seems as if it bothers you greatly that I read your blog. You are simply on my blog list and I routinely check them all to see what everyone has written. If it bothers you that much, I can take you off my list. And “D”, too. I mostly check your blogs to see how the girls are doing. I don't talk to "M" [Editor's note: my ex husband] anymore and he hardly ever posts anything on his. But I do like reading about the girls. I spent a lot of time with them, and sometimes I miss being a part of their lives. I do know that [R] (her daughter) keeps in touch with [2] and [1], which is fine with me. I think [R] and [S] (her oldest son…his initial is not “S”, but rather than duplicate he will be for the purpose of this post. Deal.) said they would love to get together with the girls sometime, but if they did, I would rather it be when they are with you. I am not comfortable interacting with "M". Anyway, if you have taken the time to read this, let me know what you think.

“J”

PS. I do not equate good parenting with being able to drive. My ex can drive, which proves my point right there. (smile) I think “D”, in his own unique way, is a good stepdad to the girls.

Have a good week, and good luck with the money issues.

Now, I gotta stop and interject. Gotta. Sorry. This message came to an account that I don’t check regularly anymore…from an address that I had never seen before. (I note that because I have previously blocked not one, but two, email addresses from this person…so she clearly considers my doing so a challenge…um, can you say “stalker behavior”?...I knew you could.) Interesting to me that she would state that she was uncomfortable interacting with my ex. I had, only days before, noted to my ex that she was still “stalking my blog”. He lowered his eyes and shook his head, and then he indicated that he understood completely because he was having “similar issues”. (Keep this point in mind, though, because while she was uncomfortable interacting with him on this day…well…she got over it nearly immediately.) And, you know, it's not like it's the first time she'd indicated that she wouldn't read my blog anymore.

Lastly, SHE was the one who indicated that a person had to drive to be a good parent, and seems to have completely forgotten that she was the one spouting that rubbish from her soapbox. Or, I don’t know, maybe this is classic political flip-flop. Whatever it is, I can tell you that it’s NOT personal integrity. Not even close.

It took me several days to formulate a response to her note, as I know that her kids and our kids do, indeed, enjoy each others’ company. The children of J’s that I have met, appear to be pretty good kids. So, I don’t have an issue with my kids spending time with them. But because, I would rather they didn’t spend time with J, and because my children have confessed to me that they are uncomfortable spending time with J, I talked to them and came up with a plan I thought would work for all of us. Consequently, I sent back the following note.

J -

I have thought long and hard about your email and while I do not plan to address all the points in your original note (for obvious reasons), I will address those that pertain to my children.

I've talked to the kids and mulled over the situation. After talking with the two older girls, [1] and [2] would like to spend some time with [R] and [S]. They'd like to go [Visiting the Establishments in Our Neighborhood] with them, if that is acceptable to them, and to you. Obviously, the relationships between the adults involved make things a little complicated, but I would like to propose that you drop [R] and [S] off at [A Well Known Local Coffee Shop] (they have tables outside where the kids could meet) up at the corner of [our street], and that [1] and [2] could walk up from our house and meet them there. The pick up (a few hours later) could be handled similarly, with [1] and [2] walking home and you coming back to pick your kids up shortly thereafter.

This will eliminate friction between the adults. This also allows all the kids the opportunity to meet without having to deal with any parents from either side being present. [1] and [2] are most comfortable with this option, and I hope, as this is being done for the kids, you and your children can respect that.

I've asked the girls not to mention this meeting at all to [3], as she is only going to want similar privileges with [A] (the youngest son), and that isn't nearly as simple, as we can hardly leave young children unattended. [3] seems to have achieved some closure as regards her relationship with you and with [A], and the uncertainty surrounding any kind of continuing relationship for her in this regard cause me to opt to preserve that sense of closure and try to protect her from further unnecessary and unhealthy emotional upset.

Therefore, after a great deal of thought, this seems to me to be the best way to go forward with this. If this is agreeable to you, [S], and [R], then let me know. As much notice as possible would be helpful, and please let's confine this discussion to email.

In the future, I think both our sets of older kids are capable of initiating and formulating plans to socialize, and will only need to involve parental authority as concerns permission and transportation details.

T


My intention was to allow these four children the opportunity to spend some time together without the stress of the grown-up issues. I thought it was a way to put aside any issues between J and I, so that the kids in this equation (who'd formed a friendship) wouldn't have to be caught up in the drama. It would have been far easier to say "no" and "don't contact me ever again"...again...but, as usual, I was trying to do what I thought was best for the kids. In this case, all the kids. The response I got back was this…

Hi T,
I am glad you answered. It gives me the chance to clear something up with you. When I wrote to you on June 26, I was not talking to "M". But when I wrote to you, it caused me to think about my situation with "M" and I decided to send him an e-mail as well. He responded with a phone call, and we have been talking off and on since. He told me you asked him if we were talking and when he said yes, you responded that you knew "she was lying". I wasn't lying. After I contacted you about the kids, shortly after that "M" and I began talking again. Sorry about the confusion. I do think it will still be easier to plan things when the kids are with you, since they are there much more of the time.

As for your arrangement with the kids, that sounds good. I agree with leaving [3] and [A] out of it. And I won't call the house. Unfortunately, [S] is in two plays right now as well as working so I don't know how soon they will be able to coordinate schedules. Maybe [R] and the girls can work something out. [R] has much more free time than [S], since being 15 she can only work 18 hours a week. And you're right, I think all 4 of them are more than capable of arranging their own social calendars, but I don't think any of them wanted to initiate anything since none of the adults were in contact.

Both [S] and [R] are at work right now, so I will talk it over with them and get their schedules and then we will go from there, if that's okay with you.

And I hope you've noticed from your statcounter, I have stopped reading your blog and D's as you requested. I have deleted the links from my blog list. I would imagine you're not interested, but if you ever should be, you are welcome to read mine. Or if you ever have a question about anything with the kids, please feel free to e-mail or call.

I know you don't like me and apparently don't trust me, but I would like to find a way to apologize for everything in the past and move on, to being civil face-to-face or if possible, friendly. Whatever you think of me, I would love for all of us to be able to get together and let the kids hang out someday.

Again, thanks for e-mailing.

J


Where do I begin? Okay, first, let me note that when I spoke to my ex about the email I’d initially received, he noted he had recently begun speaking with her again. I said she was “lying” to me about being uncomfortable with him…not about not having spoken to him (though that’s more likely his miscommunication). Clearly, she got over the comfort issues, as soon as she’d sent me the note. I’m thinking the issues weren’t as significant as I was led to believe.

Next, she appeared to agree with the arrangements I’d proposed regarding the kids. Wouldn’t you think? I mean, she said, “that sounds good”. I’m taking that to mean that she doesn’t have a problem with them.

For the record, I had noticed from my statcounter that she’d stopped reading my blog. I think D noticed a similar trend at the time…which was July 8th. As you’ll see, that appeared to be part of a limited time offer...though I must have missed that part. Doubtless it was in the fine print at the bottom of the screen, or something.

Lastly, I’m not looking for an apology from J. While I’ll acknowledge that she has mountains of bad behavior for which she owes me an apology, I’m taking the “move on” option and since she is no longer my ex’s current girlfriend, we don’t have to interact. Not even at the minute level we used to have to interact. And that makes the rest of it moot. Further, an apology (or anything else, really) from someone whose word is worthless, simply has no value. I'm not going to mislead anyone, or waste the time pretending it does.

So then, neither the kids, nor I, heard anything back, regarding these tentative plans, for over a week. I asked my kids if they’d heard anything from [R] and they said they had not. [1], in fact, indicated that she’d had an IM conversation with [R] and that [R] had been indicating that she’d really like to get together and do some [Visiting The Establishments in Our Neighborhood]. I just didn’t get why this had been started and then dropped.

And then, nine days later, this shows up in my inbox…

T,
"M" ordered [1] a copy of the latest Harry Potter book, which comes out at midnight this Friday, through me at a bookstore in New Albany. I would like to get it to her this weekend, but "M" will be out of town.

Would it be possible for us to arrange to meet [1] and/or [2] to get the book to her? If she will be working this weekend, I would be happy to drop it by there.

Just let me know what you think will work best.

J


No mention of tentative plans she’d set in motion nearly a month prior. Plus, this book that was a gift from my ex…wasn’t at the top of M’s list of important stuff to arrange before he left town for his vacation. He’d neither mentioned making any arrangements with me or nor with [1]. But, yeah, being a Potterphile (I’m totally stealing that, Mr. G), I knew she’d be anxious to get her hands on it. So, I decided to reintroduce the option J had brought to me in the first place.

J -
I had expected to hear back from you regarding [R]'s schedule and the possibility of [S] and [R] spending some time with [1] and [2], but have not seen anything back from you. [1] advises me, today, that [R] was lamenting about going [Visiting Establishments in our Neighborhood] with her recently. Have you decided against this for some reason?

Is it possible that "M"'s gift to [1] could be delivered by [R] and [S], if they could get together this weekend? [1] and [2] both have some availability on Sunday, if that would work with your kids.

Let me know.

T


And so, on the Wednesday prior, this is what I got back. It was the last correspondence between us.

T,
I apologize for the delay. As you know, I had [R] call [2] and talk through plans for Sunday. No, I didn't change my mind. I have been sick for the past week or more and have just recently gotten back into the complete swing of things.

Anyway, I will drop [R] and the book (not sure about [S] - his play schedule may conflict) at [the coffee shop] at 5.

J


Would you make the leap that the plan was on as originally discussed? Would you take this woman at her word? Would you believe that, even though you hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings unnecessarily, by telling her that she makes your children uncomfortable and that both you and a licensed professional feel it's not in their best interest for them to spend time with this person, you wouldn't have to get into any of that anyway?

Well, if you're me, you'd make that mistake...again. And, like me, you’d be wrong. And, by now, you ought to know better.

That following Sunday, which happened to be the 22nd of July (that date will factor in shortly, just jot it down somewhere), I had my kids intentionally wait to leave the house so that J would have time to drop her kids off and be gone by the time my girls got there. Guess what, she was sitting at the table out front of the coffee shop with her kids…waiting. Which…you know…is directly contrary to what I’d asked her to do and what she’d told me she was going to do and is a fine, fine example of her complete lack of personal integrity. Or maybe I should say “another” fine, fine example of her complete lack of personal integrity. It's certainly why I can never trust her, and another reason why my children’s therapist has advised them never to trust her.

She wanted to see the kids. Period. And she went around me by deceiving me to do so. Despite the fact that it was neither what I wanted, nor what the kids wanted, clearly, no one else’s opinions or feelings matter here. And, well, she pushed the right button. She was "doing something for the kids", and she knew I'd put my own reservations aside to make my children happy.

To ice that particular cake, guess what, she went back on her word about reading my blog, too. Shocker. I guess, though, that only really counts if I believed her in the first place.





So, I've blocked her email address...again...and I'm hoping, one more time, that I'm through with this crap. Bring on the NEXT "current girlfriend". Please. Preferably one that has some personal integrity this time.

6 Comments:

Blogger AaA said...

Glad to see that you're no longer allowing the possible bruised feelings of people who don't give a damn about you stop you from releasing stress when you badly need to. This sort of things belongs out where everyone can see it.

Oh, and just to state the obvious, she's officially gone beyond the pale now, into legitimate stalking. I strongly recommend police involvement if it happens again.

Oh, and since I know you're reading this, Superwife's Ex's ex, let me just add for your benefit that, yes, you are in fact stalking, and it is in fact creepy, and you really ought to grow some self-esteem and stop going where you're not wanted.

Oh, and if I offended you, feel free to come over and say so on my blog, I don't care one way or the other.

8/03/2007 3:51 PM  
Blogger HoosierGirl5 said...

Okay, at first I wasn't going to answer this, but I changed my mind.
You never told me the girls were uncomfortable seeing me. If you had told me, I would have left, or waited in the car. The main reason we stayed was because Joseph had had time to come with me to drop Rachael off, and he wanted to say hi to the girls. And yes, I did want to see the girls. But like I said, had I known, I would have waited in the car.
Reading your blog and sending you a couple of e-mails is NOT stalking. The Internet is a public domain. If you put it out there, it's for anyone to read. If you want to keep it private, make it private.
"M" told me a long time ago that once you had a grudge against someone, you never let it go. And that is so true. I have never met someone so vindictive and mean-spirited in my life. You think I'm creepy?
You (and your unemployed, Internet-banned husband) are the one who is creepy. And completely nuts. Please, please, please - grow the hell up.
Good luck.
J.

8/03/2007 10:31 PM  
Blogger SuperWife said...

Okay, at first I wasn't going to answer this, but I changed my mind.

Well, that IS what you do best, isn't it? I think it's more likely, given my personal experience, that you live for the drama. I'm just not like that. And I never will be. I don't ENJOY that.
You never told me the girls were uncomfortable seeing me. If you had told me, I would have left, or waited in the car.

See, here's the thing...I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT (also, I'm their mother and at least one of those children is still a minor). We made arrangements that YOU AGREED TO that made me having to BE UNNECESSARILY MEAN AND/OR VINDICTIVE...um...UNNECESSARY. That is, unless you decide to completely change the arrangements to suit your own agenda and completely disregard what we've previously discussed and what YOU GAVE ME YOUR WORD YOU WOULD DO.

My email specifically indicated that I'd spoken to the girls about how to proceed with this and that the proposition I offered you was something that the three of us had come to together.

The main reason we stayed was because Joseph had had time to come with me to drop Rachael off, and he wanted to say hi to the girls. And yes, I did want to see the girls.

I know you think your reasoning is sound, but you HAVE NO RIGHT to make that decision for me, or for my children. You don't seem to understand that the barriers we have had to put up are completely based on your behaviors. And I've never seen an ounce of evidence that those behaviors have, or are capable, of changing. In fact, your note here is more of the same. Knowing the animosity related to the situation, if I had wanted to change the arrangements you and I had agreed to, I would have had the consideration to let you know that I wanted to and seek your approval. That's the kind of person I am. I would NEVER presume to make that decision for you, or to put your children in the position that you had no problem putting MY children in. Know why? Despite how you continue to treat me, I conduct myself with a higher level of respect for people.

But like I said, had I known, I would have waited in the car.

Why in the WORLD would you think I'd believe anything you say to me, J? You have done nothing but lie to me from day one. And here, in your response, in a post about personal integrity and honesty, not once do you make any attempt to challenge the fact that you gave me your word...again...and went back on it...again.

Reading your blog and sending you a couple of e-mails is NOT stalking.

Justification for this behavior is something that you should truly examine. As I've noted previously, and as you've AGREED, you have no reason to be here. Sending me email (and we both know it's more than a few emails since I asked you to stop) and calling my house when I have specifically asked you not to, when you have threatened me (and you better believe I still have ALL those emails), when I've blocked two previous email addresses, when your compulsive behavior drives you to the point where you cannot let go and move on from a situation that is over...done...well, at best, it's not healthy.

The Internet is a public domain. If you put it out there, it's for anyone to read. If you want to keep it private, make it private.

Well there's a newsflash. Thanks for that. I'd never heard it before. (That's sarcasm, in case you missed the tone.) Are you still very uncomfortable interacting with "M"? Or are you Carmichael, the random stranger who privately emails me to be my friend after having been in my home?

I know what I'm doing when I post my feelings on my blog. The point of this post, which seems to have gone right over that head of yours, is that you have no personal integrity and that you are a liar. You told me, AGAIN, that you would not read my blog (or D's) and, well, what a surprise, here you are, AGAIN. Shame, shame on you for being the lying, manipulative woman you are. If you don't want to have to do what you say you'll do, don't say it in the first place.

"M" told me a long time ago that once you had a grudge against someone, you never let it go. And that is so true. I have never met someone so vindictive and mean-spirited in my life.

"M" is not the most objective judge of my character, and I'm pretty sure you know that. As for grudges, I gave you an opportunity a long time ago, J, after the first time I caught you in a lie. I told you I would be proceeding with caution, and you continued right along with your bad behavior. Oh, sure, you'd blow up and say terrible things to me...and then apologize. Again and again, this pattern played itself out. Mean-spirited and vindictive? I don't think that's accurate. I think I've been in reaction mode with you from the beginning. And every time I ask you to please just leave me alone...to let's call this a draw and move on with our lives...you simply can't seem to do so. It's not me holding a grudge, J. It's you continuing to pick the scab off the wound and then stand back and play the victim when you reap the consequences. It's not convincing...and it's pretty immature. All I have ever asked you to do is to leave me alone. That is not mean or vindictive or grudge-holding.

You think I'm creepy?

For the record, I'd like you to point out where I have EVER (including this post) called you "creepy". Please. Post emails, pull previous posts, anything you have. You won't be able to. I know this for a fact. Because I haven't. SOMEONE ELSE called you creepy, and you're attacking me because of it. It's behavior I'm entirely familiar with because it's not the first time you've done it. I imagine it won't be the last either.

You (and your unemployed, Internet-banned husband) are the one who is creepy. And completely nuts.

Yep. That's us. Creepy and completely nuts. That's why you keep hanging around. That's why you keep trying to contact us. That's why you keep congratulating us on our marriage and telling us what wonderful people we are privately, and trying to be friendly enough to "get together and hang out someday." Because we're creepy...oh yeah, and completely nuts. If we are creepy and completely nuts, what does that say about you?

Also, let me point out that calling my husband names, when he has absolutely nothing to do with this post, is something you do on a fairly regular basis whenever your own character is called into question. It's extremely immature and certainly you must see that my husband's status at his place of employment and an internet site that you have no interest in are of no concern to you, and are no justification for your own dishonesty and deception. In fact, my point in this post is that there IS no justification for your (or anyone else's) dishonesty and deception. You see, J, being dishonest with someone is disrespectful.

Please, please, please - grow the hell up.

I really, really do not believe that I'm the one acting in a childish manner here, J. I'm expressing MY feelings, on MY blog (a place you've assured me you aren't visiting anymore, btw), and I'm not bothering you. I'm not calling your house, or emailing you, or anything. Because, really, at this point, in a city of ONE MILLION PEOPLE where we do not have any personal or professional reasons to do so, it's not necessary for us to be around each other. And sometimes, when reasonable adults can't get along (and it happens all the time in the grown-up world), the ADULT thing to do is to walk away. So, when you're looking for someone to "grow up", I'd appreciate it if you'd start with yourself.

Good luck.

Back atcha.

Nate -

Thanks for the support. I know you can't wait to get here and get sucked further into the vortex. Sorry, in advance.

8/04/2007 1:34 AM  
Blogger The Bunnyman said...

J,

I think “D”, in his own unique way, is a good stepdad to the girls.

Say, that’s fabulous! And then you said that other really sweet thing, what was it…

I would like to find a way to apologize for everything in the past and move on, to being civil face-to-face or if possible, friendly.

But… wait! Suddenly, it’s –

You (and your unemployed, Internet-banned husband) are the one who is creepy. And completely nuts.

It… I… wow! I’m totally confused. SuperWife and I must be very complex, multifaceted people.

Or, I dunno, maybe you’re a two faced bitch with your head so far up your ass that your anal sphincter is constricting the blood flow to the vestigial, rejection-rotted remnants of your deeply embittered, horridly hypocritical, hate-raddled brain.

I suppose either could be true.

You do seem to be having some difficulty grasping the essential truth of this situation, however. My wife has a hard time dealing with someone like you as brutally as is merited, because, well, she’s a wonderful person. This is why she is far more civil to you than your behavior merits, when you break promises to her over and over again, call our house after you’ve been asked repeatedly (and repeatedly promised) not to, and continually create new email addresses to get around her privacy filters.

So let me explain what’s going on here, in small words that hopefully even someone as clearly borderline sociopathic as you are can comprehend:

We don’t like you. At all.

We don’t want to have anything to do with you. At all.

Now, I could explain, yet again, why this is so. I could go through all the various instances and occasions on which you’ve grievously and egregiously insulted my wife and myself, all the ways we’ve tried to be kind and decent and generous with you and your children in the past and had you spit on us and on our home in return, all the times you’ve solemnly sworn you would cease to interact with us, you would stop reading our blogs, you would no longer call us or email us or post comments to us, and how every single time you have broken those ever so sincere and soulful oaths, and how you are, without a doubt, the absolutely least trustworthy person I have personally ever met.

But there’s no point in talking about any of that. Suffice to say: We don’t like you. We don’t want to have anything to do with you. And we are grown ups, and we are allowed to choose who we will like, and hang around with, and share our lives with, and who we won’t.

And here’s the thing, J… and I realize you just don’t get this… when you continue to call our house, email us, read our blogs, and post comments to our comment threads, all of this in defiance to our clearly expressed wishes and your own frequent sworn assurances to the contrary, you are behaving in a completely unacceptable, irresponsible, immoral, unethical, immature, and, well, emotionally unbalanced and borderline insane manner.

You’re also being a complete ass. And embarrassing yourself.

It’s clear you’re not smart enough to realize that, which is why I’m taking the time to explain all these things to you.

I hope I’ve made myself clear.

8/04/2007 1:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for a few weeks and haven't commented before. But I have to wonder how many friends that "J" has that lie to her repeatedly. I mean, she's expecting you to be her friend but she's glossing over how she makes that impossible by her total lack of respect for you.

If the reality is that you're not calling her house or contacting her in any way, and she keeps doing that to you and then treating you badly when she does (threatening you?), I'd be looking at a restraining order. Because it doesn't look to me as if you're being vindictive, or else you'd be doing things to get back at her.

Or am I missing part of the story?

8/04/2007 10:35 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

'Anonymous' (since I don't have access to the blog's hit-meters, I have no way of verifying you aren't in fact, the 'J' of legendary ill-repute):

Assuming you aren't 'J' (and actually, even if you are, it's not like I'd put hoisting herself by her own petard past her) you aren't missing anything. I have also suggested police involvement. Bunnyman and Superwife are good friends of mine, and it frankly scares me that they have this person stalking them.

Right now it seems pretty bloodless, just some e-mails and phone calls and blog snooping (and insanely creepy lying in wait for the children, that one scares me shitless). But how many homicide investigations have started out that way? This can only get worse if it continues.

'J' desperately needs to let go of her desperate need to be loved by everyone around her, and accept that she's burned all the bridges that might lead her to Bunnyman and Superwife. If she can't, then this is going to get ugly. Bunnyman and Superwife NEED to act to protect themselves, AND their kids, before this woman goes off the deep end.


'J', HoosierGirl, or whatever you want to be known as:

Please, please, PLEASE, just let it go. Forget about whose fault it is that they don't like you and WALK AWAY. If it helps, build up a picture in your mind of two bitter vindictive people that just unreasonably and for no sane reason decided to hate you. Maybe they're jealous of you for being prettier and richer and just generally a better person than them. Yeah, that's it. That's gotta be it!

Do all of that, if it helps, and then please, pretty please with a cherry on top, for the love of kittens and chocolate, go the hell away. I mean, why would you even want to go where a buncha jerks that are so stupid they don't love YOU hang out anyway?

And you know, if you stopped entering their area of attention, maybe they wouldn't have anything to say about you, so you wouldn't have to worry about them talking about you on the Internet behind your back. They're probably not smart enough to remember you if you're not around for them to notice. Or who knows, they might even begin to miss you, and invite you back into their lives. And then you can snub them to teach them a lesson!

8/05/2007 8:04 AM  

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