The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Bracketeers!

Okay, so I'm already out of the NCAA basketball tournament pool at my office. Having given my $2 and filled in my brackets (indicating that Texas would win and then they, cruelly, dropped out early on), so that someone else will, once again, know the splendor that is winning a $20 pot. 'Tis the season, I suppose.

To that end, I ran across some other brackets today. As I found them timely, I wanted to pass them along. Thought you guys might get a kick out of them, too.

Thanks to Slate, we can now bring brackets to things not-sporty. (Which works just fine for me. Thank you very much.)

Things like The Best Ad Campaign Slogans (Mm, Mm, Good vs. Got Milk?), or The Best Marital Argument (where "Can't you just stop and ask for directions?" takes on "How about some sex for a change?"), The Where Were You When Moments (The OJ Verdict is up against the First Man on the Moon), or, my personal favorite, The Best Movie Deaths (that pits Thelma and Louise's drive off a cliff, against the Nazi's melting in Raiders of the Lost Ark).

As "teams" advance (based solely on your personal opinion), there really is no way you can lose! You will feel like such a winner as your pick advances all the way to the final spot!! Plus, if you throw a twenty into a hat, you are all but guaranteed winning $20! That should make anyone feel good, right?

Though, if you're winning the basketball pool at your office, you probably don't need these.

9 Comments:

Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

I saw the two guys interviewed who wrote a book about that - how you could put any major decision up into brackets and eliminate the "competition."

Interesting...

I never won anything in the office pools.

And usually don't follow the NCAA tournament until this year, when the Marist Red Foxes women's team (the college is just across the river) made the Sweet Sixteen. But sadly, they lost to Tennessee on Saturday.

I heard a report where a Marist professor asked the students in his class to raise a hand if he or her would be going to Tennessee to see the game. Several hands went up. Then he asked who would be going if it were the men's team that had made it that far. Almost all the hands went up.

Sad.

3/27/2007 11:25 AM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

Re movie deaths: I'd pit Bonnie & Clyde against Scarface.

But what about Trini Lopez in "The Dirty Dozen??"

3/27/2007 11:30 AM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

I heard a report where a Marist professor asked the students in his class to raise a hand if he or her would be going to Tennessee to see the game. Several hands went up. Then he asked who would be going if it were the men's team that had made it that far. Almost all the hands went up.

Sad.


Welcome to America. You just getting in?

Here in Kentucky we mostly forego the football, but never...::clearing my throat::...NEVER forego the basketball. In fact, it is touted that here, we bleed blue (the U of K school colors). (For the record, I'm a U of L fan and so, as a normal human being, I bleed red...which is, coincidentally, their school colors.)

Men's sports, however, are embraced with such a fervor that women's sports are left with "wha? huh? did you say somethin'?" Sure, sure, there's tennis and figure skating. But other than that, they'd prefer we just show up on the COVER of Sports Illustrated and leave it at that.

As for additional cool movie deaths, the brackets were, indeed, limited. What about all the many ways Bill Murray died in GROUNDHOG DAY? More than a few folks in KILL BILL (and/or KILL BILL 2)? Julia Roberts in STEEL MAGNOLIAS? Robert Shaw in JAWS? Delacroix (can't remember the actor's name) in THE GREEN MILE? Leonard Nimoy in WRATH OF KHAN? even Mel Gibson in BRAVEHEART? I'm sure there are plenty of others, too.

3/27/2007 12:28 PM  
Blogger AaA said...

"Men's sports, however, are embraced with such a fervor that women's sports are left with "wha? huh? did you say somethin'?" Sure, sure, there's tennis and figure skating. But other than that, they'd prefer we just show up on the COVER of Sports Illustrated and leave it at that."


*Nods sagely.*

Yep. Women playing the icky sweaty sports just ain't . . . making the eyes happy. Organized, televised sports is about entertainment.

Now, you put female basketball players in two-piece bikinis, or even better, have 'em playing Shirts vs. Skins, I guarantee you attendance will rise, ratings will skyrocket, and fan interest in general will increase across the board. I promise you that I personally would be able to name at least ten players by the end of the first season of Bikini Basketball, and 50% of the players in S vs. S league play, and I'd know most of their stats, too.

I apologize for nothing!! Nothing!!

(Well, actually, I apologize for pretty much everything above. Yep.)

3/27/2007 8:09 PM  
Blogger AaA said...

Heh. I actually checked out the brackets. Read the author's brackets too after I did mine. Not surprisingly, we disagreed on all of them.

The fall of the Berlin Wall edged out 9-11 for me. 9-11 changed the world as much as the fall of the Berlin Wall did, but that wall tumbled to make a better world. 9-11 happened to make it worse again.

The winner on my best movie deaths poll was Slim Pickins riding his H-Bomb to 'victory'. He only barely edged out Wallace Shawn's Iocane-induced collapse by a hair, though.

The other polls I just didn't care enough about to finish.

3/27/2007 8:35 PM  
Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Hmmm, I'd long suspected that men watching sports was more than a little homoerotically motivated. So, it's not about the talent and skill of the players, or even the strategies and luck of the game, but only about the entertainment factor and which bodies look best sweaty. Boy, do I ever feel dumb...;)

3/28/2007 7:34 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

Lol, touche. No, it's not that guys look better sweaty, it's that women look icky sweaty unless there's nudity involved.

Although football is certinly loaded with the ghey. Guys bending over in line, reaching between each other's legs, patting hineys... GHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Almost as gay as Greco-Roman movies...

"Do you like gladiator movies, Bobby?"

"Have you ever seen a grown man naked before?"

"I was one lucky girl!"

My god I love Peter Graves!

3/28/2007 4:32 PM  
Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

So re the homoerotic thing, is this why men's baskeball uniforms suddenly changed from teeny tiny Richard Simmons shorts to the baggies they wear now?

Too much of that guy-ogling going on?

3/29/2007 11:29 AM  
Blogger AaA said...

Beats me, I never watch biscuitbool.

3/29/2007 7:24 PM  

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