The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Miss Me?

Life has been…um…interesting.

And more than a little busy.

But you folks know all about that stuff. Don't you?

'Tis the season and all, huh?

Well around Castle Anthrax, we're in pretty good shape. Just a couple of small things yet to be picked up, but there is still multitudes of wrapping to be done.

Getting down to the wire and starting to plan out Christmas dinner. I think most will enjoy their gifts. My sister is always a toss-up. And we've done more homemade gifts than usual this year, so that's always kinda dicey. I can't TALK about them here, because you people simply cannot keep a secret. After Christmas, maybe I'll have Martha do a guest spot. Lucky Bastards.

Our dear friend, Nate (whose blog is kinda anonymous now or I'd link it, too), has apparently wrapped a Buick and put it under our tree. At least that's about the right sized box for one. So, it'll be nice to be driving a new car in the new year. I'm greatly looking forward to it.

Speaking of our tree, it's gorgeous (if deadly), and while it's definitely starting to dry out a bit, I'm pretty sure there will be actual pine needles (and not just on the floor...or embedded in our respective jugular veins...either) for Christmas. My oldest daughter took some pics of the tree with her cellphone, but they really don't do it justice (can justice really BE done to this tree???). Consequently, I need to borrow a digital (as the birthday gift I tried to give my hubby last month blew up spectacularly) so I can get some pics of it posted for you all to admire.

I'm working on it.

We have no snow. And it's unlikely we'll get any by next Tuesday. And that sucks. I really do enjoy a white Christmas. Ironically, the Christmas BEFORE my hubby moved to River City was one such Christmas. A nice 6" late Christmas Eve snowfall was a delightful gift. Waking up and looking out onto the pristine snow on Christmas morning filled me with such warmth...and a touch of nostalgia. Missing those northern Christmases, I suppose. Anyway, many of our northern friends may get to enjoy themselves a White Christmas. Fricken, Fracken, Rashen, Frashen snow stealin' no good

On the downside, there's been much nasty arguing with my ex about the inconvenience of not giving him the kids' Christmas lists (which, of course, saves him from the distasteful business of actually speaking to them himself) when they were originally available. (The tricky part of THAT is that I didn't do it because he specifically told me not to. Though somehow I'm still responsible for the consequences of respecting his decision.) Always a good time (that's sarcasm), but especially so this time of year (see previous note).

Anywho, I'm shaking that crap off and doing what I can to make as nice a holiday as I can for myself and the peeps I love. Changing gears a bit, I was tooling around the net, and ran across a few "seasonal" items that I simply HAD to share with you all. Had to.

A Top Ten, if you will, of bad nativities (the rubber ducks wins the prize for me, Gang) to show you just how frightening this stuff can get.

I'm happy to report that I have not seen a nativity tie in person.

And that my children are too old to be receiving nativity ducks for Christmas.

Next on the list of...let's call them Questionable Gift Ideas...is this little gem.

I like the one size fits all option on a gift like this.

And the fact that, here in America, you can sell anything. So, if you gotta have one...or have an idiot on your gift list...here's the place to get one.


Likely too late to pick up one of these new toys, but maybe next year...

The entrails splayed out are a nice touch and one I'm sure won't be lost on young children.

I will say, though, that I'm CERTAIN there is a market out there for this stuff. And less enthusiastically, possibly in my own home...

This clip is actually safe for work (unless you work at the MENSA offices). It's two hot girls in a shower...having what they believe is an intelligent conversation.



Lastly, here's a little "homemade" JibJab Christmas goodie I wanted to share. Hoping that all of you have a most excellent holiday!! (Which is more than the Spears' family is likely to have. As yet, another one is trying to put the 'ho' in holiday!. )

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

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