The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Okay, while thinking about movie titles yesterday, quite a few "stinkers" crossed my mind. Consequently, today's list (and it'll be the last, I promise) includes some of the worst movies I could think of for each letter. Anyone who wants to play along is welcomed to do so. In fact, I'd love to see what you come up with!

After Sundown (the hands down winner)
Boy in the Plastic Bubble, The (I’ll bet John Travolta NEVER mentions this one)
Cannonball Run II (nothing further needed)
Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (I didn’t even know this movie had a second part of the title)
Eyes Wide Shut (though my hubby would probably pick Escape From New York, here)
Flintstones, The (I know a couple guys who would pick Field of Dreams here, but this live-action adaptation nearly put me off the Flintstones forever)
Grease 2 (Michelle Pfeiffer’s house payments must have been pretty late for her to go here)
Inspector Gadget (Matthew Broderick, how could ye?)
Jaws 3-D (…::stare::…)
Kingdom of Heaven (one of the very few movies I’ve ever actually walked out would, too, if it happened to you.)
Ladybugs (Watching this Rodney Dangerfield film is truly painful)
Made in America (Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson…)
Norbit (What was Eddie Murphy thinking???)
Operation Dumbo Drop
Pet Sematary (Why are Stephen King’s movies such poor adaptations of his books?)
Quigley Down Under (this one may just be me)
Rhinestone (Sylvester Stallone & Dolly Parton...and Sly sings...::shiver::...)
Superman IV

Twins (Danny DeVito…Arnold Schwarzenegger…twins…of course…)
Underdog (Can’t we ever just leave well enough alone?)
Valley Girl (ewww…totally…)
White Chicks
Xanadu (this one was easy, I nearly put it on the other list just because it started with an “x”…now I can put it here…justly)
You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (Ben Stiller better be careful or he’ll end up on the list with Will Ferrell and Owen Wilson)
Zoolander (And this doesn’t help)

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Pointed here from Mark Gibson at Abject Conjecture, our record is now sullied...please direct any complaints there.

Like Mark, I've done this off the cuff, so don't expect any cool stuff. Cool stuff takes hours and hours of work. I love you guys. But not that much. Also, for fun, you should do your list before looking at mine (or anyone else's). No copying. Or else.

The Rules

1. Pick one film to represent each letter of the alphabet.

2. The letter "A" and the word "The" do not count as the beginning of a film's title, unless the film is simply titled A or The, and I don't know of any films with those titles.

3. Return of the Jedi belongs under "R," not "S" as in Star Wars Episode IV: Return of the Jedi. This rule applies to all films in the original Star Wars trilogy; all that followed start with "S." Similarly, Raiders of the Lost Ark belongs under "R," not "I" as in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Conversely, all films in the LOTR series belong under "L" and all films in the Chronicles of Narnia series belong under "C," as that's what those filmmakers called their films from the start. In other words, movies are stuck with the titles their owners gave them at the time of their theatrical release. Use your better judgment to apply the above rule to any series/films not mentioned.

4. Films that start with a number are filed under the first letter of their number's word. 12 Monkeys would be filed under "T."

5. Link back to Blog Cabins in your post so that I can eventually type "alphabet meme" into Google and come up #1, then make a post where I declare that I am the of Google.

6. If you're selected, you have to then select 5 more people.

And Justice For All
Big Chill
Continental Divide
Deer Hunter
Electric Horseman
French Connection
It’s a Wonderful Life
Kill Bill
Layer Cake
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
‘Night Mother
Odd Couple
Play Misty for Me
Quiz Show
Raising Arizona
Steel Magnolias
Thank You for Smoking
Uncle Buck
Walk the Line
Yellow Submarine

I notice (after the fact), that Mark and I have just (3) duplications. Not bad!

As for my five tagged, I'm looking to...

Spider Girl
Fortyish is Fab
Crayons in the Sun (if she ever checks in there anymore...)

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Lovers and Liars

Can you believe that it’s been nearly a month since I’ve been here? Well, with the elections over, I’ve not had much to discuss. Until last night...

Oh, sure, there’s been stuff going on in my life. Most of it is pretty boring stuff, though. But yesterday, I learned that my ex and his current girlfriend are moving in together.

Now, for the record, Highlander and I moved in together before we got married, too. I discussed it with all of the kids, and asked for their feedback (and approval) beforehand, and then I discussed it with my ex. I suppose that last wasn’t “necessary”, and it certainly wasn’t to get approval (or to “poke him with a stick”), but I thought that he, as their father, should be aware that his kids’ lives were getting ready to be impacted. And, I had enough respect (both for him and for myself and our kids) to discuss it with him personally, instead of letting it trickle down.

Of course, when I did discuss it with him, it was met with all kinds of furor and resistance and threats of legal injunctions. It was fundamentally wrong to live together without benefit of being married and there was no way he was going to allow me to do that. You think I exaggerate here, but you are wrong. When I pointed out to my ex that he and I had lived together before we married, he eschewed that stating that we didn’t have kids, and that having kids in the equation completely changed it. I disagreed, totally...and I am pretty sure that he didn’t believe his own argument.

But despite me pointing out how hypocritical it was of him to say that cohabitating was unequivocally wrong, he stood his ground. It was bad for the kids and set a bad example. (As an aside, it was my beloved grandmother who encouraged me to move in with my ex before getting married, telling me that “you will never really know if you want to spend your life with someone until you live with them”. It’s something I’d encourage my own children to do, as well. Because...well...I believe its good advice.)

So, of course, when I learned, yesterday, (and not from him) that my ex’s current girlfriend was moving in, I asked him if he was getting married. He looked at me (somewhat taken aback that I knew, I guess) and said simply “no”. I told him I was surprised, given how vociferously he had defended the opposite position just three years ago, that he no longer believed that it was wrong. Sure, maybe I should have just let it go. I mean, I know he didn’t really believe it then. I’m sure it was just more of the “he’s hurt and jealous” stuff. But he put us through a lot of shit and if he didn’t believe it, he should be a man and own that. He should say “look, I was in a bad place and I know I was wrong and I’m sorry for behaving that way”. The likelihood of that happening is none. I know this because his response was, “well, since you’d already exposed the kids to the situation, I knew it didn’t make a difference what I did...the damage was done.”

And me, totally missing the best opportunity for a line EVER, didn't say "so, I guess I should just let them smoke pot since you've exposed them to THAT lifestyle"...but I didn't.

Simply put, boys and girls, today’s lesson is “A principle is worth defending to the death...until it negatively impacts your own lifestyle”. Nothing has changed. Either you believe it is fundamentally wrong to do something, or you don’t. It’s as if you believed that it’s fundamentally wrong to hit someone, but when you find out someone else did it, you figure "why not?".

Up here on the high road, we call that a failure of character, a lack of integrity. Of course, for someone who said that they have no problem lying to people they don’t like and respect (and don’t see that lying is a reflection upon them...not on the people they are lying to), the armor was already dinged up pretty well. Of course, it could be that he still believes that I have to live by one set of rules and standards, and that he has an entirely different set he's established for himself.

I feel particularly sorry for the girlfriend. My kids like her well enough, so, for that, I am grateful. And she seems to be, by and large, good to them. But I don’t think she knows what she is getting herself into with him. Or, maybe she does. Maybe she has more experience with addicts and liars than I know. She definitely seems to be an enabler and that will certainly appeal to him. I don’t envy her what lies ahead. But I do like her enough that I feel sorry for her.

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