The Oral Report

Standing up in front of the class was never so much fun!

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Location: River City, United States

The rantings and ravings of a mom of three wonderful girls as she finds new love while working like a dog and shaking her fist at the system. You know. Pretty much like everybody else.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Two Wrongs Make a Right?

Does it ever occur to anyone else that maybe Britney Spears and Michael Jackson would make a good couple? Sure, Michael's gotten older and he's no longer the one with the daily antics (having kids seems to have settled him down a little...the antics are more monthly now), but certainly Britney seems to have been inspired.

After her latest, I was thinking, "You know, if we could hook the two of them together, give Kevin Federline the kids (yeah, okay, the plan's not flawless), maybe they'd be enough for each other. Certainly supportive of each others' outrageous behavior." Right? Shoot, maybe he'd even take her to Bahrain to live!

Although, maybe the two of them together would ramp up the eccentric exponentially. Maybe they'd BOTH be in the news daily.

Some problems are just too big for my brain...

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Simply Amazing...

So, last night, [Kid 1]'s Brownie troop was having an award ceremony and pot luck dinner. ([Kid 1] got like a gazillion badges, by the way.)

Bunnyman had to work late, and my two older girls were bored to tears at the thought of a Brownie award ceremony and potluck dinner, so [Kid 1] grabbed up a big pan of baked beans I'd made and headed over to the school, where we met her dad.

It got started a little late, but all the girls had a great time and were completely adorable in their little uniforms. After the ceremony, the kids were to drag their parents through the buffet line and load up on all good chow there. (As a side note, I'm not sure who made the sour cream and cheddar mashed potatoes, but they were THE BOMB!)

Couldn't get more Middle-Class American than that, huh? So we sit with one of [Kid 1]'s friends and we're chatting amongst ourselves and I look up and see them.

You can't mistake this couple if you know them, so I knew, immediately, that it was national celeb time.

Sure, yeah, we're talking Reality TV National Celeb Time, but still...

If you are a fan of AMAZING RACE 12, I'm sure you'll know them, too.

They are Kynt & Vyxsin. And they're anything BUT Middle-Class American. know...they kinda stood out a little.

I found it very amusing watching the parents look on in horror at this very non-traditional couple, as their kids were thinking it was pretty cool. Because my eldest child NEVER misses this couple on TV, I knew exactly who they were, and I immediately shared that with [Kid 3].

Now, [Kid 3] has seen her sister get all gothed out, so dressing to attract attention in this regard is not a shocker for her. But having "tv stars" at her Brownie potluck kind of was. Her friend knew who they were from watching the show and it wasn't long before that information had circulated throughout the group.

Ironically, parents (many of the same ones who had looked in disbelief initially) started asking to take pictures with them and Kynt was signing autographs. I called [Kid 1] and let her know they were there and she walked/ran the mile to get there to see them (and have her picture taken with them). It's on her cellphone, or I'd share it here.

Before [Kid 1] could get there, [Kid 3] really wanted to meet them. She was incredibly shy and asked me if I'd take her up to talk to them. So, once the mob had thinned a little, we did. I gotta say they seemed to really be enjoying their celebrity (not a surprise), but they also seemed to be such sweet people. Talking about what a fabulous opportunity this was for them and how much they really enjoyed seeing the world. As you'd imagine, the hardest part is keeping the secrets they are contractually obligated to keep.

Anyway, it made for an interesting evening for sure. [Kid 1] said, "Well, if there's a party going on anywhere in town, Kynt & Vyxsin know where it's at!". I suppose that even applies to a Brownie potluck.

I know that hiding your jealousy will be difficult. Do your best.

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Politics on You Tube

A couple guys in my office forwarded me the following You Tube vids recently. I wanted to share and since they were all political, I thought I'd just lump 'em in here together.

Maybe you've already seen them. If so, you can just lump it, too!

Maybe later, I'll tell you about the celebrities I met last night at [Kid 3]'s Brownie Award ceremony.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

If You've Been Extra Good...

You might consider asking Santa for one of these. I think they are UBER-Cool!!

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Happy Birthday, Baby!

Today is my darling husband's birthday. You know him as "D", "Highlander", "Bunnyman", "Doc Nebula"...I could go on, but it's probably best I quit making it so easy for the NSA and so hard for the feds over at the Witness Protection Program.

As I was saying, though, today is his birthday. We have plans, this evening, to go see a movie (THE MIST) and get a late steak dinner out. And all of that is just peachy.

What is not peachy is how my usually adept ability to pull together a day to make my husband feel special (complete with presents, etc.), has fallen entirely short this year. Now, I talked to him last night and explained that this really cool gift I had ordered, arrived damaged and I've spent the last three weeks trying to get it resolved. Unfortunately, it appears it may take another week...::sigh::...or get it completely resolved.

Sure, I could run out on my lunchbreak today and pick up something for him. Something last minute, but something I know he'd enjoy. But it just feels wrong to me to do that. I was really excited about giving him the gift I'd originally ordered, and anything less just feels like a consolation prize to me.

But it's incredibly aggravating to have to tell him that he is going to have to wait to get his present. Especially after the very wonderful birthday celebration he pulled together for me a couple months ago.

So, last night, operating on far too little sleep, I apologized to him for the lack of a present. And he did what he always does, he told me it would be fine. He reminded me that having me and the kids were all the birthday present he needed. That sharing our lives with him was a most precious gift.

Maybe all the birthday dinners, and dinner and a movie out tonight, and a little nothing project I put together for him (which I shared this morning), will buy a little time for the present to come through.

I hope so.

'Cause I really do want him to feel special on his special day. And I'm hoping, since I blundered it so badly this year, that I can get a little help from you folks to make it better. Feel free to drop him an email, or to post a comment here (or on his blog) wishing him a Happy Birthday. I hope that will help today feel more festive for him.

If not, I'm gonna have to resort to sex.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

If You Can't Stand the Heat

I have been in the kitchen alot this week. Yeah. I know it's only Tuesday.

It's a good thing I really like to cook.

But I'm telling you right now. After Thursday, I am taking a vacation from the kitchen for about 3-4 days. Minimum.

My darling hubby's birthday is tomorrow, so I promised him a week of his favorite dinners leading up to Thanksgiving. I really hope he enjoys it. I am thinking I won't be doing it again any time soon.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm doing it because I want to make him happy. But I'm already worn out and I haven't made the first thing for Thanksgiving yet.

To recap, on Saturday, after a FULL day of cleaning and shopping, etc. I made homemade pizza for him.

Then on Sunday, I made chicken tenders, roasted garlic mashed potatoes and corn (broccoli if you were in the first wave) for dinner that night and pre-cooked some chicken for a chicken pot pie we had last night and threw together a pan of lasagne that we're having tonight.

Monday, I finished up the pot pie and also baked a homemade triple layer dark chocolate cake with white icing (with some mini choc. chips between the layers) and got to bed around midnight. I also premade the spread for tonight's garlic bread.

To keep on schedule, I'll have to bake the lasagne and garlic bread for dinner tonight, and then make my traditional cranberry relish (one of my favorite dishes at Thanksgiving) and two homemade pumpkin pies.

Wednesday, we are planning to go out for a celebratory birthday dinner and movie (with Nate and [Kid 1])...likely because the thought of trying to squeeze one more homecooked meal in there would have been dangerous...and then baking a frozen apple pie when I get home, and mixing up the herb butter I use on my turkey.

I doubt I can get much more done ahead, so I'll be up pretty early on Thursday and get my dressing mixed up, my turkey greased up and into the oven, throw together a green bean casserole, make two kinds of cornbread muffins (damn you and your great sounding recipes, Giada deLaurentis!), yeast rolls, mashed potatoes, corn, peas and mashed sweet potatoes.

We're planning to eat around 3PM. Shortly thereafter, "Martha" will be leaving the kitchen.

For a few days.

Unlikely there will be time to post again between now and then, so let me take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving holiday!! While we all have some stress going on in our lives, Thursday will present us with the opportunity to take a few minutes to reflect on the people and things most precious to us.

Lastly, everyone should wish Tony Collett a Happy Birthday today!!

Me? I gotta go weird with it.

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Living in the Future Now!

My darling hubby is still looking for his jetpack, etc., but a recent illness that my father is battling (and the associated medical technology) has me believing that we are living in the future now!

Some serious problems had him admitted to the hospital last Wednesday and the standard battery of tests is coming up short on explanations. The main problem, you see, is a serious internal bleeding problem. He's been transfused five times since Wednesday and his blood pressure (as you can imagine) has been majorly wonky.

Many, many things have been ruled out at this point. I'm most grateful for the lack of any evidence of colon cancer (as his mother died from that just over five years ago).

However, it's incredibly frustrating not being able to correct/treat the problem...BECAUSE THE DOCTORS/HOSPITAL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT'S CAUSING IT!!!!!

The next test on the list, which will likely take place tomorrow, is a Capsular Endoscopy. And, if this stuff isn't Living in the Future Now, I'm not sure what is.

I told my Mom it was "The Jetsons" technology. She just rolled her eyes at me. (Can you believe she just doesn't "get me"?)

The test will not be performed in the hospital. No one has said so, but my cynical nature believes that it's a matter of liabilities and insurance coverages. The hospital won't take it on, so my dad has to be well enough to be discharged from the hospital to get the test that will (hopefully) tell us what treatment he needs to get know...get released from the hospital. Oh, it's tricky business.

In the meantime, he is doing better today. Blood levels and pressures are holding. He's eating a little and semi-mobile. Crazy stuff, though. Especially in the middle of all the other crazy stuff I have going on.

We live in hope.

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Raise Your Hand...

...if your inbox is filled to brimming with randomy goodness today!

Guess What?!?!? Mine, too! Here's a sample of what was in my email today...

Uh huh.

That's a Towel Elephant.

And if you simply MUST have one at your house. Here are instructions to make one of your very own.

Now, you've gotta admit that instructions to make a Towel Elephant are a pretty unusual find. But I gots more...c'mon.

Did you hear that actor Dick Wilson died? At 91, the actor best known for portraying Mr. Whipple in over 500 television commercials (that may be the saddest thing I've ever written, btw), has passed away. While I can't deny his status as a pop-culture icon, it was odd to find notice of his passing in my email.

And while we're doing the pop-culture icon thing, here's a You Tube video that was sent to me...

An ad for this interesting organization...(which has actually been around for a very long time)

With the holidays approaching, I suppose it's timely that I received this article about Australian Santas and their country's own "war against Christmas".

Then, of course, there was this little piece of visual humor.

I know. I know.

Some of you are gonna say that's not fair.

And I'll agree.

As soon as I get done laughing.

I'll just say that I've worked with a great many construction guys in my life. Yeah, that's the only defense I've got.

Then, taking a more serious turn, there was this article about AT&T and the NSA. Our civil liberties being the only casualty of that relationship. Well, maybe not the only casualty...but likely the most obvious.

Other than some work stuff and various Viagra ads, that was about it. A very random Monday indeed...

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I Dismember Blogging....

Heh...You have to be really old to get that one...

Hard to believe that it's been nearly a month since I last blogged.

I've missed it. But sometimes it seems like I'm sittin' on the porch of a house on the highway. Everything is just racing by me and I'm always trying to find a few more minutes, because there are so many things left to do. Like cars on the highway, I never seem to run out of things left to do. Tiring. (I hear ya out there, Mr. Norton.)

I imagine you're all interested in what's been going on lately, huh?

Won't hit everything, but will mention that we're all doing pretty well. Greatly looking forward to the holiday season and making pretty good inroads on the various lists for Thanksgiving and other lists for Christmas.

[Kid 3] had some oral surgery last week and is recovering nicely. Pretty painful and pitiful last weekend, but back to her sassy self now. The surgery involved a gum graft for a receding gum situation.

On a seven year old.

I may never "get" that one.

In any event, for the unintiated (ah, it was only yesterday that I was amongst ye ranks), the procedure entailed removing a piece of tissue from the roof of her mouth and then grafting it onto the area of the gum that was receding. So, it was that she had two owies in her mouth.

In other news, she has an award ceremony (in connection with the end of the first semester) and I've been advised that she will be receiving an award. That's on tap for Friday morning.

[Kid 2] is tutoring (in addition to school and her part-time job and squeezing time in for a boyfriend) one day a week after school. She's nothing if not amazing. Have I mentioned that she had gotten her dental stuff started? An expander in the roof of her mouth has moved her upper jaw to the point where the two front teeth (that used to overlap slightly) now have a SIGNIFICANT gap. It's part one of the process. As I understand it, as the orthodontist begins moving teeth around, the gap will disappear. I live in hope.

Anyway, the expander has done it's job and we're now at the point where we're ready to get the bottom braces put on. That is on tap for tomorrow morning.

[Kid 1] is struggling a little with independence. Still living in our home, but being a legal adult is an adventure for us all. She's been sick with a cold for about a week, but refuses to go to the doctor. As a borderline asthmatic...who refuses to take her medicine...and is sneaking and smoking...and wandering around in the cool rain...without a coat...she's not exactly taking the best care of herself. So, I've been doing that thing that I do (hey, I'm her mother, I'm allowed!).

I'm nagging.

Still hasn't gotten her there, but using some meds around the house (including a few breathing treatments with the nebulizer), have apparently helped, but she's also just found out she's been exposed to mono and I'm hoping that's one thing we can dodge through the holidays.

Speaking of the holidays, I haven't picked up the turkey yet, but I've whittled the grocery list down deeply. I also need to pick up some things to bake a cake for my darling hubby, who has a birthday coming up next week (the day before Thanksgiving), and a card I need to get in the know who you are...

I don't, generally, have the girls for Thanksgiving. Part of the divorce settlement was that my ex had them every Thanksgiving. My eldest had already decided to join us this year (still miffed at her dad about his recent snub and his near total lack of concern/interest in her life since she turned 18). And, of course, Nate will be celebrating with us. But it's always kind of sad when I don't have all my girls.

This year, due to some scheduling changes on my ex's side, we are fortunate enough to have ALL THREE girls for Thanksgiving. In fact, [Kid 1] has a couple of friends who will be joining us as well. So, it should be a big crowd. Which we will all heartily enjoy!

Ty Pennington (who is not gay) has been in town working on a house for his show. It's been pretty interesting. My kids know the family (the handicapped son plays music at their church, and his younger brother goes to school with [Kid 2]), and it's not far from our neighborhood. But traffic's been a nightmare around the construction site and no one in our tightknit group has spotted Ty (who is not gay).

But it's been rather exciting and we've all kind of enjoyed it. The show isn't scheduled to air until next spring, but the builder (who I know) has pictures of the construction progress on their website. (Interested parties can email me for a link. I'd put it here, but it really is information that will "locate" us more than I'd like to in this medium.)

Nate starts a new job next week. It seems to be a good fit for him. He'll be getting a pretty good raise from his job in New York, plus a company vehicle. The work is in a field in which he has some expertise and so it should be fairly comfortable. Work is work, though, and I'm hoping it doesn't turn into a "job" too fast.

I don't think I mentioned it, but, as I type this post I can't help but see the present D gave me for our 6 month wedding anniversary. That's right. He's that ga-ga.

He actually picked up gifts for all "his girls". Mine, however, was the best! It's a BEAUTIFUL bracelet watch. EXACTLY like I have wanted for years. And I was delighted to have it. I really was!! Who ever heard of a six month wedding anniversary?!? He's the most considerate and sensitive person I've ever known (and an utter DOLL) and I am just so crazy about him!!

I'm working on a crappy birthday surprise for him, but it's not working out so well. I haven't given up hope...completely...but it's gonna take a miracle to pull it off...

The kids go to spend a week with their dad on Saturday and, between finishing getting things ready for Thanksgiving (including cleaning the entire house and grocery shopping), are hoping to catch a few movies. Including THE MIST. As it's his birthday week, of course I'll be letting him do all the picking.

He's also already scheduled to have a week of all his favorite dinners, too. Lasagne, chicken pot pie, chicken tenders, and more... So, yeah, it's gonna be more busy than when we have the girls...LOL! If you don't see me around've have a clue.

Okay, that's all you get for now. Go buy some cranberries or something!

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